I count my blessings.

Had a long week. Just something to remind myself about life. I count my blessings. Rushed down after school on wednesday to have my yearly medical checkup. This yearly med check i have to do at Health Promotion Board was since P6. Been there ever since after the P6 checkup they realised i had a slight doubleheart beat aka Mild AI. Finally, this is my last year doing it here. In fact, i was already too old to be there since it was a students' clinic. Being there really, brings back so much memories. I left the building with this thought that i had with me the week before, i count my blessings. Doing the ultrasound at raffles medical to clear medical for MOE a wk ago reminded me something, i was blessed. The nurse doing my ultrasound was scary! or rather she started asking me so many wierd questions that i thought something worst had happened. Ultrasound was like those thing that u can see your own insides aka i can see my heart valves as she scanned.. the convo went something like that..
nurse: "When was the last time u did your ultrasound? Are you doing checks yearly?"
me: "few years ago" (though minor checks were yearly)"
nurse: " Hmmm...." *scans around my heart* You know what happen?
me: " ya .. kind of.. been so long and i often forget it exist"
nurse "hmm....." *scans* The doctor told you how's your condition?
me: "ya. mild valve leak?"
nurse: " onLY? *with a scary tone* Hmmmm... *scans.. records*
*silence*
nurse: " The doc only say that?... *pause* *scans* Did he tell you anything else about what happen?"
me: *irritated and a little worried by her tone* ya... he did.. slight valve not closing? *peeks at my own ultrasound and i can see my slight valve not closing =p*
nurse: "only? hmmmm"
The convo ended there but seriously her tone almost gave me the biggest scare ever as i thought something bad happened =.= The ultrasound ended and the doc met me and he said a sentence ONLY! "Oh, dont worry. its so mild. Nothing to worry about. You can go already" Walking out of raffles medical, i count my blessings. I'm blessed because i know there are worst ppl out there while mine is just so mild that i can just totally ignore it. Now a wk later came the yearly check, did an ECG and met my specialist doc just as every year. doc: *checks* " ohhh its so mild that i cant hear any sound (she meant she didnt hear the double heartbeat sound laa cos if she didnt hear sound means my heart not beating =X)" In my heart i was like thinking you're a specialist and you cant even hear my double heartbeat sound?!? Thank God this was how minor my condition was. My mind wondered back years ago the first time i knew about it and the doc asked me to do an ultrasound to check how serious it was. Being really young, i was sent to NUH children Hospital to do it. There was this kid about toddler age waiting for his turn (b4 me) I overheard the doctor saying that his heart condition was serious and he had better be warded immediately. On the other end, i heard the convo of him to his friend. The boy holding a cross necklace in his hand and said.. my dad says.. the cross will protect me and will not be pain and i will get better. You can imagine how freaked i was since i was next to go in. =X But i always remember that young boy. Once again i count my blessings. My valve leak cld have been more serious or not closing even more but no... God blessed me. My mum was always feeling guilty about it but i told her.. I count my blessings because i focus on the fact that i'm much more blessed. i may not be perfect but i'm not suffering all these because I'm blessed and i count them so i am contented. So when life get tough dont blame about how life is tough but realise that how blessed you are thorough your tough time.

Sigh.. but life is tough. Things arent getting v smooth here at hm. I wish my sister was home to handle. but shes stuck far far in London. Its not me to handle such big responsibilty. Realised i've been highly reliant on my sis. Definitely its me to not want to face the issue but jus run from it or hide from it or not contribute constructively or just stay outside and let my sis settle. I'm proud to say i helped this trip but its too heavy a burden to decide bout things at home. Through it all, i count my blessings because my family is still close and supportive but i pray that they learn to turn to God for help and decision making.. just like i do.