Smile, because you make a difference everyday of your life.

=D

Thank God for the talk with Martin.(aka Mr Koh i cant really get use to calling principals by name)

Finally after joining the school for so long, the principal decided to chit chat to me for a get-to-know chit chat session and i'm really grateful for that. It was a session that set me thinking furthur and made me believe and assured my direction. Started of with just sharing about our backgrounds and stuff. He said several things that really inspired me and made me believe.

1) Leadership is about influence and the ability to lead a team (teamwork). That was what i answered when he questioned my concept of leadership. No doubt he affirmed that my council experiences had taught me well and i really thank BP council and 6th council PJ for that experience that i grown alot and put to good use now. He also taught me not to forget to set a vision. If the leader himself or herself does not have a vision of what he/her wants to achieve.. and whats the end pt to work towards to, how is the leader going to lead? After hearing, i decided not to rant about being the Band CCA teacher but really look to the challenge of leading the kids through this critical period of SYF next year. *inspired*

2) Teaching - i've so much more to learn.(while i live i learn) As he exclaims how young i was and that getting through the interview was a challenge. Once again affirmed. Made mention of the previous contract teacher who seemed like me =p He said he saw how she grew over the past year (adding the fact that there were tears behind those "growing") I had this growing anticipation for the challenge ahead. Guess i love challenges...and i am looking forward to growing!

3) WHY TEACH? - He asked me straight.. a question i asked myself too. my ans.. "As clique as it gets.. i want to make a difference" As i say it out, i felt certain. Its like all the doubts and worries and fears about my decision just disappeared. "smile, because you make a difference everyday of your life" was on the dedication video to teachers. Its something i believe in... and i see it happening in what i'm doing and through the stress i face, i love what i'm doing. Mr Koh said that many times when things get stress teachers tend to forget the actual reason why teach? and get carried away with anger and stress.... i just have to remind myself...=) was also assured of how i could always furthur my studies as how many teachers even when they come out to teach, still study for their degree! =D

4) The best teachers are dictators who act like they are not. Some teaching methods he shared with me that teaching doesnt have to be all about scolding or shouting. Because we shouldnt let ourselves lose control of our temper. But instead we have to set certain standards that they should know they need to achieve or they would have to face the consequence. As i was sharing about some problems faced in class, he taught me to believe in the children. If you believe they can do it, they will. But if even i dont believe they can do so, how would they? Believe that every child has their potential. =)

Thanksgiving to God for placing me in an environment so condusive and nice. No doubt its a blessing to have nice principals and V. Principals and a bunch of teachers who many are christians too!!!

I want to grow more as a teacher and be a good testimony =D

smile smile smile... you're making a difference doing so =)

I'm a teacher and I thank God for this calling =D

=)

Life's simple. Its when you look forward with anticipation and let every small thing be your motivation that you find that life is not that dreading. =) Havent been feeling like that in a while but i seem to find joy in little things today. It reminded me life is that simple and joyful.

walks home from tution smiling all the way ...

walk past a classroom and smiled seeing the children dancing ACES dance (super cute!!)

saw most 6N clear U-grade this prelims (SUPER HAPPY!!!)

scolded a noisy boy happily...

Life is that simple and happy. I find my motivation in.. nothing but everything.

move on. move on. jiayou. move forward. with smiles, simplicity and joy =)

ahyi i gave what u said some thought... =) Thanks.

Week update

A normal slightly boring week had passed.. but with GOD's work filled in my week. THANKS! God gave me the opportunity to share deeply with ser xing. She stayed over at my hse and we spent 5 plus talking all the way till 7 to 8 plus.. debating about christianity. I understand her doubts and her inability to be convinced. I'll keep you in prayers. Dont shut God away..

"Be bless and bless others".. someone once told me that. I awed at GOD's work when Howie shared about the divine appointment because deep inside i knew it was definitely GOD's work. At brief, Howie was tempted by something that was wrong.. he was close to giving into temptation..when so happen i sent him an sms "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" 1 Corinthians 10:13 Praise the Lord.. this verse spoke to him deeply and once again VICTORY over temptation! I knew this was GOD's work. 1) I was half asleep when i decided to send the message to some CG ppl.. and though i almost seldom or nv sms Howie.. i dont know why i did so that day (vaguely rmb he said he had a tough wk)!! (sleepily) 2) WHO sends a quote on temptation!?! its so random.Usually encouragement quotes right? But God blessed and touched my heart when we had our girl's bible study the night b4 that i thought i could share the blessings on temptation .. 3) it was 1 odd am in the morning..!!!! and a school day.. why would i send it at such an odd time!! (it was a random urge) THANK GOD. He showed me that all things happen for a reason, all things happen in His perfect timing!!!

Lastly, its just to you ... you and only you! Xian.. i really cant believe our telpathy still works u know!! you know why? I went to your blog and read ... i wished i could be with you once again to settle together as we always did the past few times... anyway then i tagged "Xian.... i miss you ~ " After a while i happened to check my blog tag box and i saw your tag in mine was "Hey. i miss you".. you know it wasnt planned but we said the same thing!! =p Miss you girl. Hope you settle in fast...

I'm starting to get reliant Lord... i pray i wouldnt because being reliant is a troublesome thing.

HE Never Fails

He Never Fails

He never fails the soul that trusts in Him;
Tho' disappointments come and hope burns dim,
He never fails.

Tho' trials surge like stormy seas around,
Tho' testings fierce like ambushed foes abound,
Yet this my soul, with millions more has found,
He never fails; He never fails.

He never fails the soul that trusts in Him;
Tho' angry skies with thunder-clouds grow grim,
He never fails.

Tho' icy blasts life's fairest flow'rs lay low,
Tho' earthly springs of joy all cease to flow,
Yet still 'tis true, with millions more I know,
He never fails; He never fails.

He never fails the soul that trusts in Him;
Tho' sorrow's cup should overflow the brim,
He never fails.

Tho' oft the pilgrim way seems rough and long,
I yet shall stand amid yon white-robed throng,
And there I'll sing, with millions more, this song--
He never fails; He never fails.

Praise the LORD =D

Be encouraged for the week ahead ppl =)

Blessings and Thanksgiving

Another week had passed. As i reflect this week, i seem to realised what was the problem. It was the changes in my life that makes me unconfortable. Its how stagnant and dry i feel now that makes me agitated...

As i read sl's blog...

"Sometimes, i fear that i might lose my friends, cuz al of us are leading our own seperate lives. It is thru some opportunities and by chance that ppl get together and become friends. And when these chances cease to be dere, it is going to take a toll on the friendship. I fear, for myself and the others, that we'll be too busy and occupied with our new life that we neglect wad is originally ours. In simpler terms, tt's taking things for granted. I detest change and yet this is one of the off-putting music tt we've to face."

Lishi's blog

"i keep reminiscing abt the past, grabbing tightly to those memories, which makes me one want time to come to a standstill so that everything can remain the same as it is now."

I'm really starting to feel lonely and missing times with fartty family, missing their daily presence.. which became weekly presence after we graduated, which now became much less as we all start school or army in our own way. I kind of miss weekly outings alot.. getting so nostalgic about everything as everyone starts getting caught up with our own life. Yeah.. maybe i hate changes.... this is why i want to give my thanks to GOD.

He knows i am feeling the missing gap. I THANK GOD for blessing me with Anna. My colleague, my friend, my sister in christ, enthu, dedicated teacher =) He blessed me with such a christian sister to support me in my walk despite the changes. A blessing to have her to sit beside me, eat with me, take crap pics with me and talk about God during our free period! The past week was taxing the first 3 days but sustained by God's blessings. We went to watch the fireworks together with another of her two church friends.

Another thanksgiving.. Thank God for giving me an opportunity to reach out to the muslim p6 girl. Not wanting her to let her thought stray and do things she shouldnt do again, i made her stay in school after psle oral 1 to 1 and coached her maths! (sadistically did so as it was supposed to be half day). The unexpected opportunity came when she asked me "teacher what will you do when you see a ghost' .. i replied her "my God will help me". haha.. she got really curious and i managed to share so much that even the whole gospel came out and i questioned her and made her think furthur. heh with the power of calling Anna out to help me =P hahahaha.. THANK GOD for the outreach opportunity because the girl seemed interested to know more.. though it may be hard for her to change religion but may GOD work in her slowly.

lastly, THANK GOD.. to wake up for CG today was a struggle. Woke up with a lack of motivation and demoralised by the rain (as it seemed so nice to sleep). I actually snoozed for 1 hr, struggled with my thoughts for rather long before i WON my thoughts by forcing myself up. (actually i remembered what Anna said about how she felt that she shouldnt ask her sister to skip bible study for fireworks.. that sparked me up =p)

Thank GOD..

God, would you carry on sustaining me....i need the motivation..and strength..

Food for Thoughts

Stressed week which i expected a tough week. Not really because of the work load (though increasing) but more of the trying to control my emotions. I hearby vote the most getting on my nerves class is the P3 class..the most i-am-worried about class is my p6 class... the most teachable class.. my p4 class. Here's some food for thoughts i had after my Monday P6 sadistic remedial class. Sadistic because of how long we keep them until.At the corner of my eye i saw a teary looking girl which i kept her behind after class to ask why. She actually told me she came back from the hospital after eating 10 panadols and .. .. After some "heart-to-heart" talk about why she did that, it made me realised how our family played such an important role in our life. No doubt for the P6s the stress is coming as prelims come next week..but i was still rather shocked at the way she handled stress. Yeah admist my "tummy ache" i managed to cheer her up and as she did not want to go home due to various reasons i told her to stay back with me for the nxt few weeks and study. Food for thought 1# kids nowadays are highly stressed.

Anna was telling me about this girl from her church who committed sucide due to the inability to handle stress. Her sisters and her are all christians but their parents were not saved. After her death, her parents, a storn taoist (who without her death would not had converted) had converted. This sparked me to ask Anna "do you think the girl went to heaven?" Yup. Its not for us to judge whether or not she would go.. but Food for thought 2# When one commit sucide.. where is she going? There is no doubt God used her to reach out to her parents, so her death was God's plans...

All the morbid things aside... GOD i need stength and patience to calm my heart this week. Need especially more strength to fight satan's tools of using negative thoughts to agitate me. Surrender these to YOU that YOU may sustain me...

*ps.. sister coming back this sunday, something to cheer me up =D =D =D =D =D*

*Argh*

okay.. gg to be another bz week ahead which needs alot of self motivation to get through. Had a great time lazing ard with yah ting at my place. =) i guess only we know what we're gg through this lazy Sunday afternoon. arghh such an irritating feeling and i hate it. Once again i wonder, such a time who suffers.. guys or girls.. ! BOTH! after some analysis we realised its a lose-lose-situation for both. The girl know she's highly irritable and says ignore her (but actually bluffing) then the guy think should avoid then avoid then the girl being highly irritable will think the guy very. . . . . then the guy didnt know what he did wrong but the girl bu shuang. or if the guy carry on sticking around.. the girl being highly irritable rants at the guy and the guy gets scolded for nothing!! Haha.. lose-lose-situation! anyway, Arhh.. we need to think of a perfect solution to this irritating monthly crisis..its disgusting and irritating.. shoo with it...!! Sigh. still all the negative thoughts clutters at this period. GOD deliver me from negative thoughts and feelings which make bright life seem bleak! oh..yeah and anyway sorry to the bunch of guys who ate with us during lunch.. unluckily we didnt feel like talking so seem like we're so mean =X

yah ting.. the fact that you're leaving makes me sad =( no one with me for sunbeam or after church.. hah i kinda can imagine how much u'll be missed. =( cheer up anyway~~

Long Hols

OK. Long hols is sadly coming to an end. Apparantly once again i've not started my planning for my next week. SO feel like i'm doomed. This long hols i had been really spending time catching up alot. Met up with Edi,Hao, Wan Mei, SUXIAN!, Chun,Zhen Hong..eating session and pictionary session was really fun.. PLAYING PICTIONARY TILL 12.30 plus am...!!!! my goodness =.= ..Met up with MOM colleagues =D for steamboat at aunty jessie's house (which turns out to be a really major blessing *long story*).. Met up with eugene over dinner to chit chat and catch up, met up with john & gy to watch secret, met up with cg to have cg (finally!!) well anyway so here's my update of the long hols =) great meet ups really.

Anyway, having some thoughts.. sparked by things i see ard me. =) and NO i'm not being emo here. Haha..Firstly to fel biao jie, somethings you've to give and take and accomodate.. since i cant tell u to hv a God centred relationship i wld say.. dont have an angered centred one. There's no point in being angry at one another because things just dont get solve like that...!!

to gene.. haha yes yes once again we're at sq 1 and same state.. really funny.. but i'm kind of getting comfortable with things like that.. so peaceful but like u said.. kind of no spice.. but i thank God for the friends He blessed me with. LOL and ya.. you're one of the people that i can really safely say "we're FRIENDS" if u get what i mean =Pp hahaha.. press on in ya new vocation.

Anyway, was just sparked by the ppl ard me (ESP JANIE AND MARK who Q me =pP) about what are the "citerias".. hah though i un-interested-ly said that i'm in such a stagnant state that i dont go and think about it and i dont really feel any "chem" working. But after much prompt and thought.. i just know ONE! that its i want a God centred relationship! glorify GOD , encourage one another, seek Him and grow spiritually together, and let everything point back to HIM. Which randomly somehow Yah Ting started asking me about it =p God's timing is really amazing .. anyway.. the whole incidents left me with a food for thought.... "what is a GOD centred relationship" =) interesting topic for a pretty much uninterested me =pP if u get what i mean...

*tsk btw ah yi i paragraph it specially for you* hahahahha..=X

I count my blessings.

Had a long week. Just something to remind myself about life. I count my blessings. Rushed down after school on wednesday to have my yearly medical checkup. This yearly med check i have to do at Health Promotion Board was since P6. Been there ever since after the P6 checkup they realised i had a slight doubleheart beat aka Mild AI. Finally, this is my last year doing it here. In fact, i was already too old to be there since it was a students' clinic. Being there really, brings back so much memories. I left the building with this thought that i had with me the week before, i count my blessings. Doing the ultrasound at raffles medical to clear medical for MOE a wk ago reminded me something, i was blessed. The nurse doing my ultrasound was scary! or rather she started asking me so many wierd questions that i thought something worst had happened. Ultrasound was like those thing that u can see your own insides aka i can see my heart valves as she scanned.. the convo went something like that..
nurse: "When was the last time u did your ultrasound? Are you doing checks yearly?"
me: "few years ago" (though minor checks were yearly)"
nurse: " Hmmm...." *scans around my heart* You know what happen?
me: " ya .. kind of.. been so long and i often forget it exist"
nurse "hmm....." *scans* The doctor told you how's your condition?
me: "ya. mild valve leak?"
nurse: " onLY? *with a scary tone* Hmmmm... *scans.. records*
*silence*
nurse: " The doc only say that?... *pause* *scans* Did he tell you anything else about what happen?"
me: *irritated and a little worried by her tone* ya... he did.. slight valve not closing? *peeks at my own ultrasound and i can see my slight valve not closing =p*
nurse: "only? hmmmm"
The convo ended there but seriously her tone almost gave me the biggest scare ever as i thought something bad happened =.= The ultrasound ended and the doc met me and he said a sentence ONLY! "Oh, dont worry. its so mild. Nothing to worry about. You can go already" Walking out of raffles medical, i count my blessings. I'm blessed because i know there are worst ppl out there while mine is just so mild that i can just totally ignore it. Now a wk later came the yearly check, did an ECG and met my specialist doc just as every year. doc: *checks* " ohhh its so mild that i cant hear any sound (she meant she didnt hear the double heartbeat sound laa cos if she didnt hear sound means my heart not beating =X)" In my heart i was like thinking you're a specialist and you cant even hear my double heartbeat sound?!? Thank God this was how minor my condition was. My mind wondered back years ago the first time i knew about it and the doc asked me to do an ultrasound to check how serious it was. Being really young, i was sent to NUH children Hospital to do it. There was this kid about toddler age waiting for his turn (b4 me) I overheard the doctor saying that his heart condition was serious and he had better be warded immediately. On the other end, i heard the convo of him to his friend. The boy holding a cross necklace in his hand and said.. my dad says.. the cross will protect me and will not be pain and i will get better. You can imagine how freaked i was since i was next to go in. =X But i always remember that young boy. Once again i count my blessings. My valve leak cld have been more serious or not closing even more but no... God blessed me. My mum was always feeling guilty about it but i told her.. I count my blessings because i focus on the fact that i'm much more blessed. i may not be perfect but i'm not suffering all these because I'm blessed and i count them so i am contented. So when life get tough dont blame about how life is tough but realise that how blessed you are thorough your tough time.

Sigh.. but life is tough. Things arent getting v smooth here at hm. I wish my sister was home to handle. but shes stuck far far in London. Its not me to handle such big responsibilty. Realised i've been highly reliant on my sis. Definitely its me to not want to face the issue but jus run from it or hide from it or not contribute constructively or just stay outside and let my sis settle. I'm proud to say i helped this trip but its too heavy a burden to decide bout things at home. Through it all, i count my blessings because my family is still close and supportive but i pray that they learn to turn to God for help and decision making.. just like i do.