Yeah.. and once again our classic act cute pic =pSaturday, June 30, 2007
LunCh buDdies And Edward =)Okies okies.. now to back track a bit...this was on Edward's birthday. Yeah Lunch buddy had secret mission to surprise him at town when he was eating with his friends.. of course with the perfect and good coordination of my tv guide aka tecky's help! Yup.. Happy Birthday.. and i believe u really did enjoy your birthday with us around hors =p
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
"Discerning God's Calling"
I learnt the most from sunbeam. Funny how Youth service didnt speak much but children's service touched my heart huh..
"Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven" Matt 6:9-10
This was the memory verse of the month for sunbeam. No doubt the session wrapped up with the sunbeam teachers sharing their moments in which they let God will be done instead of their own will. I did think if they asked me to share what story could i share. i cant seem to think of when i really let God will be done and not mine.. (in my heart i was thinking unless u let me cross this hurdle that i am currently facing i will emerged and tell u how God spoke to me about His will) It seemed funny to be sharing their work experiences to these pri sch kids who dont really seem to be able to relate.. but i related to one shared experience by the teacher. he was trying to make a decision to cross over to a job that was better/ well-paid and bigger organisation as compared to staying in the job he was in which faced retrenchment. No doubt the sensible thing was to take the better job. He did not make his own decision but seeked God. No doubt God spoke to Him to stay on. It was a big leap of faith to stay on.. but he did.. and he prospered in that job! I guess i related to his story of seeking and letting God's will be done. Teaching the kids that day during CG was really good anyway.. =) "what have u all learnt?
"......... "Let GOD's WILL BE DONE AND NOT MINE" =) amen!
Admist my struggles and being sick, i seem to more or less had calmed my heart and thoughts and sort them out. Of course there are many things that had happened before i managed to do that. Yeah. Yi Xin sent me a LOONG unlike her e-mail,gave me a book and prayed for me. I thought about what she said.. maybe its true.. God thinks that i'm not listening hard enough.. Anyway she got me "How to listen to GOD" .. Managed to relate and re-ensure what i think GOD is speaking to me now. Just some pt to share... God speaks to us nowadays through
WORD OF GOD.. something i know i had not been doing daily and this is supposed to be the primary way He speaks to us.. no wonder i am not hearing Him..
The Holy Spirit I prayed hard and listened that night.. somehow deep down whenever i set my heart for NIE i felt this sense of calm but once my decision started to waiver i felt that lost confusion again.. No doubt i am starting to hear His voice more clearly.. Yeah.. usually we cant hear clearly because something is hindering us from doing so...
Other People God speak through ppl. I can name a few people God used to speak.. Yixin who most clearly brought me a message from Him and i guess even u knew and felt you were doing so. Kel.. who said use this year to really test if i'm cut out for teaching.. hmm this seem to be one of my biggest food for thought... sunbeam.. for letting God's will be done and not mine. Many many others too..
Circumstances.. He used circumstances to point me to my decision. Just remembered a prayer i prayed long ago... I told Him that i did not want to make a decision.. I told him i rather than leaving me with this burden.. Just choose the road for me. A prayer i prayed long ago.. it was now that He answered. Although its an unexpected road .. It gave me a sense of peace that this decision i am bout to make its one that He Chose for Me .. and He will allow me to prosper.. Many other circumstances that made me felt this was what He want me to do.. for one.. i could had easily landed up with an intake with SIM.. but circumstances led me to NIE.
After sorting out my thoughts these days.. i feel that sense of peace. Its God's will and not My Will. It is a leap of faith to take this road. Whenever i question myself.. GOD is this what u really want me to do? i feel at ease.. i feel Him calming me saying He would be there to guide me through and excel. Like what Yixin said earlier.. if i choose this route.. i have to work hard to get out of the "shit" i landed myself in. I trust and can feel that He is leading me this way because He wants to guide me all the way.. With this confidence knowing He spoke and i listened and made my decision... this ends my waiting game, this ends the few months of turmoil in my mind/heart.. this put great sense of peace.. most importantly.. i grew spiritually and learnt to hear and seek His voice in all decisions in my life.. =)
yeah.. Thanks to ALOT of ppl for ur encouragements.. =)
"Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven" Matt 6:9-10
This was the memory verse of the month for sunbeam. No doubt the session wrapped up with the sunbeam teachers sharing their moments in which they let God will be done instead of their own will. I did think if they asked me to share what story could i share. i cant seem to think of when i really let God will be done and not mine.. (in my heart i was thinking unless u let me cross this hurdle that i am currently facing i will emerged and tell u how God spoke to me about His will) It seemed funny to be sharing their work experiences to these pri sch kids who dont really seem to be able to relate.. but i related to one shared experience by the teacher. he was trying to make a decision to cross over to a job that was better/ well-paid and bigger organisation as compared to staying in the job he was in which faced retrenchment. No doubt the sensible thing was to take the better job. He did not make his own decision but seeked God. No doubt God spoke to Him to stay on. It was a big leap of faith to stay on.. but he did.. and he prospered in that job! I guess i related to his story of seeking and letting God's will be done. Teaching the kids that day during CG was really good anyway.. =) "what have u all learnt?
"......... "Let GOD's WILL BE DONE AND NOT MINE" =) amen!
Admist my struggles and being sick, i seem to more or less had calmed my heart and thoughts and sort them out. Of course there are many things that had happened before i managed to do that. Yeah. Yi Xin sent me a LOONG unlike her e-mail,gave me a book and prayed for me. I thought about what she said.. maybe its true.. God thinks that i'm not listening hard enough.. Anyway she got me "How to listen to GOD" .. Managed to relate and re-ensure what i think GOD is speaking to me now. Just some pt to share... God speaks to us nowadays through
WORD OF GOD.. something i know i had not been doing daily and this is supposed to be the primary way He speaks to us.. no wonder i am not hearing Him..
The Holy Spirit I prayed hard and listened that night.. somehow deep down whenever i set my heart for NIE i felt this sense of calm but once my decision started to waiver i felt that lost confusion again.. No doubt i am starting to hear His voice more clearly.. Yeah.. usually we cant hear clearly because something is hindering us from doing so...
Other People God speak through ppl. I can name a few people God used to speak.. Yixin who most clearly brought me a message from Him and i guess even u knew and felt you were doing so. Kel.. who said use this year to really test if i'm cut out for teaching.. hmm this seem to be one of my biggest food for thought... sunbeam.. for letting God's will be done and not mine. Many many others too..
Circumstances.. He used circumstances to point me to my decision. Just remembered a prayer i prayed long ago... I told Him that i did not want to make a decision.. I told him i rather than leaving me with this burden.. Just choose the road for me. A prayer i prayed long ago.. it was now that He answered. Although its an unexpected road .. It gave me a sense of peace that this decision i am bout to make its one that He Chose for Me .. and He will allow me to prosper.. Many other circumstances that made me felt this was what He want me to do.. for one.. i could had easily landed up with an intake with SIM.. but circumstances led me to NIE.
After sorting out my thoughts these days.. i feel that sense of peace. Its God's will and not My Will. It is a leap of faith to take this road. Whenever i question myself.. GOD is this what u really want me to do? i feel at ease.. i feel Him calming me saying He would be there to guide me through and excel. Like what Yixin said earlier.. if i choose this route.. i have to work hard to get out of the "shit" i landed myself in. I trust and can feel that He is leading me this way because He wants to guide me all the way.. With this confidence knowing He spoke and i listened and made my decision... this ends my waiting game, this ends the few months of turmoil in my mind/heart.. this put great sense of peace.. most importantly.. i grew spiritually and learnt to hear and seek His voice in all decisions in my life.. =)
yeah.. Thanks to ALOT of ppl for ur encouragements.. =)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
*Not feeling mentally stable and in a right state to think..*
Times like that i wonder where is God...
times like that i dont feel like doing anything..
times like that which i still choose to keep things and not share..
believing that by not doing anything about it things will sort out by itself..
but isnt that what God said? that He would carry my burdens?
I feel like shouting to HIM, KNOCKING at His door desperately and say "are u there"
I should let these doubts settle in because the devil knows when is the best time to strike..
times like this when i'm all so vulnerable... =X
Yes. Trust God...
Sorry for the emo-ness..
thanks to yixin,kes,nic,kel,edi.. for all your encouragements..
shall update bout this wk nxt time ba..=X
Times like that i wonder where is God...
times like that i dont feel like doing anything..
times like that which i still choose to keep things and not share..
believing that by not doing anything about it things will sort out by itself..
but isnt that what God said? that He would carry my burdens?
I feel like shouting to HIM, KNOCKING at His door desperately and say "are u there"
I should let these doubts settle in because the devil knows when is the best time to strike..
times like this when i'm all so vulnerable... =X
Yes. Trust God...
Sorry for the emo-ness..
thanks to yixin,kes,nic,kel,edi.. for all your encouragements..
shall update bout this wk nxt time ba..=X
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Avalon - Testify To Love Lyrics
All the colors of the rainbow
All of voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the Hope in every heart will speak what love has done
This is for all who wants to know what song it is =D
All the colors of the rainbow
All of voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the Hope in every heart will speak what love has done
This is for all who wants to know what song it is =D
Monday, June 18, 2007
HAPPY LUNCH BUDDIES =DWent out with my lunch buddies after service. =D It was fun! i loVe times out with you all =) Crappy as usual.. full of laughters... and just plain.. crap =p haha.. lets meet more often.. so next wkend 2nd round huh!!! okiesss!! =D see.. we didnt take any other decent pic. so i had to put this pic.. MIss u ppL!
TO JOhN: strive hard in OCS air force =) heh.. and take care of my dearest dearest friend !! if u bully i'll i'll... i'll... *mmm*
To Fel: CHeer Up. always look on the bright side. The options are plentiful.... wait on patiently
TO Gy: heh long break b4 ur posting.. =) enjoy.. see so fast 3 mths passed! jia you ba~! we need proco outing too =p
Sunday, June 17, 2007
*busy busy*....
tiring week as usual.. briefly,
Caught a movie with my CG... worked.. worked.. worked.. and more woRK! haha okies.. and i went for planetshakers concert at expo yesterday. Heh.. Went with my class Fel, chang zhi and alexious.. ooo.. i got quite alot of comments about the concert. OKies firstly i wished i had asked Karmun and Soon Leng along to the concert earlier because i felt that you all would had benefit from the message. i have a very mixed review of the concert... The loud worship music there made me feel glad that i was in Covenant. because i think it was too loud for me! Haha Felicia dragged me to the front to jump.. well like she said if she didnt drag me i would not had done such a thing.. aka jumping using my heels on some guy's feet =X hahaaha.. yeahh message by pastor prince was no doubt undeniably a good message that brought many many many people to GOD. Really.. it was a good message. Yeah. The concert did change my opinion of new creation.. on one hand i understand why it attracts so many ppl to the church.. on the other hand... ... i think... its just a little toooo over =X hah. oh well shall not elaborate, anyway there are learning pts that i really think my church youth can learn from their youth! Great concert anyway. =)
Tomorrow is church prayer meeting! =) After that finally going out with my lunch buddies. =D its been sOOO long since i met them!! Now that the guys had their POP already.. they are having a break!! =D really glad to catch up with a few ppl.. though still cant really meet them since i'm working =( .....
Happy Fart Fart day to my Fartty daddy...(oh i mean Fathers' Day)
Keeping a few ppl in prayers...... eDI, Kelvin, sl, km... =)
tiring week as usual.. briefly,
Caught a movie with my CG... worked.. worked.. worked.. and more woRK! haha okies.. and i went for planetshakers concert at expo yesterday. Heh.. Went with my class Fel, chang zhi and alexious.. ooo.. i got quite alot of comments about the concert. OKies firstly i wished i had asked Karmun and Soon Leng along to the concert earlier because i felt that you all would had benefit from the message. i have a very mixed review of the concert... The loud worship music there made me feel glad that i was in Covenant. because i think it was too loud for me! Haha Felicia dragged me to the front to jump.. well like she said if she didnt drag me i would not had done such a thing.. aka jumping using my heels on some guy's feet =X hahaaha.. yeahh message by pastor prince was no doubt undeniably a good message that brought many many many people to GOD. Really.. it was a good message. Yeah. The concert did change my opinion of new creation.. on one hand i understand why it attracts so many ppl to the church.. on the other hand... ... i think... its just a little toooo over =X hah. oh well shall not elaborate, anyway there are learning pts that i really think my church youth can learn from their youth! Great concert anyway. =)
Tomorrow is church prayer meeting! =) After that finally going out with my lunch buddies. =D its been sOOO long since i met them!! Now that the guys had their POP already.. they are having a break!! =D really glad to catch up with a few ppl.. though still cant really meet them since i'm working =( .....
Happy Fart Fart day to my Fartty daddy...(oh i mean Fathers' Day)
Keeping a few ppl in prayers...... eDI, Kelvin, sl, km... =)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Had such an eventful week. Didnt have a chance to update. At the end of the week i had a thought.. among all the crap i was going through.. this week there was more crap.. made me wonder where was God's blessings for me but i know He must be moulding me to emerge stronger after all these. The week started out with my NIE interview. Met Amanda there by chance! She was facing the same dilema of where to go too..and the same options too! Late week some crisis happened at hm..it was such a... traumatic freak accident with me calling 995 and cleaning up blood as if i murdered ! but NOPE! my dad washed the bowl and cut himself while doing so.. snapping 4 tendons and a 5 cm deep cut =X staying in hospital until 4am was sO shack considering i went to work the nxt day. Thank God i had understanding colleagues. Anyway, Dad is better now. On Friday, read Yah TIng's email to the CG.. she's going to UK to study for 3 years! Felt a bit sad and dont really want her to leave.. Maybe because she's someone i can relate to well.. Cant imagine sunbeam and cg and church without her. After much thought, i realised that God was pulling me out of my comfort zone in all aspects. Maybe that is His's plans.. for me to grow outside the comfort zone that i am in. I would really miss Yahting's company.. September really seems near. i guess i really need to try to anchor myself in cg and especially sunbeam soon.. esp since i still feel very unsettled in sunbeam =X .. So much happening but i put my trust in you Lord! Thanks Kester for the encouragements and the insights to Breakthru weekend on discerning God's calling =)
Pray for Karmun that today's church sermon was enriching.
Pray for Edi di to be more optimisstic! i'm sure u will survive ur parachuting!!
Pray for fartty family
Pray for strength and perseverence.
Yeah.. one shack week passed.. but Tomorrow will be better =D
because it is the day that God had made.
Pray for Karmun that today's church sermon was enriching.
Pray for Edi di to be more optimisstic! i'm sure u will survive ur parachuting!!
Pray for fartty family
Pray for strength and perseverence.
Yeah.. one shack week passed.. but Tomorrow will be better =D
because it is the day that God had made.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Battlefield of the Mind.
Your mind is the battlefield. Thats exactly what is going on in my life. Friday i went to pj after work to pop by elects camp. Had a great chat with Ms Xiao and Mr Tong about teaching. They made me seen alot of behind the scene things teacher does. Of course all these made me consider more about my decision after receiving NIE's letter. Sidetrack a little the chat i had with Nicholas and Mr Tong changed my impression of City harvest. On top of that it really make me thought about how a church should not focus on the numbers (ppl attending) but on the hearts of the ppl already attending the church.
Saturday...
It was tution then to pioneer for elects camp.. LONG weekend i was going to have. During tution especially the p6 girl...(aka has a super stubborn and irritating attitude/ stubborn and everything), i just suddenly thought of this sentence "bless the child". i prayed a prayer while trying not to blow my top at the P6 girl who refused to do anything during tution. To my surprise after some soft-approach, she actually started doing her maths quietly (or maybe she realised i dont seem to scold her no matter what whinnings and refusal she gave that she just gave in) "Bless the child " i saw it on my kindergarten grad cert when i was packing it last night, i heard it once this morning and i heard it once during sunbeam. I just got this "feel" of wanting to take NIE up and on the bus journey to Pioneer from tution i was so determined to do so.. believing thats GOD's plan. Ironically.. when i reached pioneer and had another chat with my teachers.. this idea started waivering again. As the pros and cons were weighed, suddenly i just felt so uncertain once again. Knowing that going into NIE technically means selling myself to the govt for the nxt few years too.. its a big decision. OF course trying hard to concentrate on the camp events as well as to juggle this thoughts was a big feat. =) Met SW,Edi and... Xian Ming (i think) for dinner as i went out of camp to take a break. (gosh.. i practically ate dinner listening to army stories).. hah.. but took my mind of thinking.. Doing sharing session and night walk for our 8th council really bring back memories.. i miss college. really. Wishing the 8th council all the best~
Sunday
Saturday...
It was tution then to pioneer for elects camp.. LONG weekend i was going to have. During tution especially the p6 girl...(aka has a super stubborn and irritating attitude/ stubborn and everything), i just suddenly thought of this sentence "bless the child". i prayed a prayer while trying not to blow my top at the P6 girl who refused to do anything during tution. To my surprise after some soft-approach, she actually started doing her maths quietly (or maybe she realised i dont seem to scold her no matter what whinnings and refusal she gave that she just gave in) "Bless the child " i saw it on my kindergarten grad cert when i was packing it last night, i heard it once this morning and i heard it once during sunbeam. I just got this "feel" of wanting to take NIE up and on the bus journey to Pioneer from tution i was so determined to do so.. believing thats GOD's plan. Ironically.. when i reached pioneer and had another chat with my teachers.. this idea started waivering again. As the pros and cons were weighed, suddenly i just felt so uncertain once again. Knowing that going into NIE technically means selling myself to the govt for the nxt few years too.. its a big decision. OF course trying hard to concentrate on the camp events as well as to juggle this thoughts was a big feat. =) Met SW,Edi and... Xian Ming (i think) for dinner as i went out of camp to take a break. (gosh.. i practically ate dinner listening to army stories).. hah.. but took my mind of thinking.. Doing sharing session and night walk for our 8th council really bring back memories.. i miss college. really. Wishing the 8th council all the best~
Sunday
This is one tiring weekend. Camped in Pioneer, woke up.. ate breakfast with 6th council, left to go home and prepare for church. Sermon today and for the past week had been talking about God's purpose and plan. Today during sermon, my mind fought a fight. I could feel a very disturbed heart and mind. I felt so irritated hearing about God's purpose and plans because deep inside i know i DONT know how to find that despite searching for so long. I must admit its one of the times i listened to a sermon and i was fighting away my negative thoughts, trying to keep awake and still keep my faith... Its the high fustruation of wanting to know whether my decision that i would make soon is God's calling.. As Joshua's sermon went on i felt my emo going higher and higher... oh man.. indescribable fight of my mind. With the battle going on, the sermon ended. LOL, this is where GOD prevails. Its a very random statement that jolt me back to God. Kelvin said he was going to breakthrough weekend. LOL. its a long story behind that statement but that instance it just came to me that.. God had started paving the path.. He would never give up on us. and He would show us His plans for us to prosper and let everything happen in His time. Its not that i didnt know this.. i just had to be reminded and reminded. This journey seem so hard. But trials are what make us stronger.. although this calmed my mind but not totally. What really make me amaze is when i met up with my class. Jing gave me a book she bought from US. "Battlefield of the Mind:
Your Mind Is the Battlefield.
worry, doubt, anger...are attacks of the mind.
Gain control over ur mind..
Recognising damaging thoughts and stop them from influencing
Be patient with yourself even when you make mistakes
Thanks Jing for the book, it came at such a time which i felt so inspired. I was just wondering why this book at a time like this on a day like that. =) I only knew that God was answering to my desperate prayers.. I will carry on and wait patiently with faith, Lord..
Friday, June 01, 2007
As ah ma says... i've been busy these days.. with work. but really had quite alot of things gg through my mind too.. as time ticks nearer to decision day. Had a great Wednesday out with my bunch of colleagues.. hah.. we were super crappy.. after work 8 of us headed off to town to eat at Village. yeah. and started making such a loud din there!! After that we went to walk around and worst! we went to taka's children session!! We became working class ppl playing with toys.. SOO paiseh =X i took pics of that sight. in my heart i was thinking oh man.. if those doing the labour force survey ever know who's behind interviewing them is this bunch of siao siao ppl.. =X I think the worst was the journey home on the bus.. SOOOO paiseh.. it was such a packed bus and val and i had nowhere to hold on to.. so i held her... and she held the hook up there.. (warning: she is like super unstable and have super poor sense of balance too) AND SO!!! i fell all the way backwards and almost land on the floorr pulling her along until this person had to pull and support us.. WAH.. the bus was sooo pack and everyone saw and i think we look stupid =p darn..
My chat with Karmun on Tuesday after guitar lesson was great. =) I praise the Lord for opening your heart.. Praise the Lord. Let things happen in His time.. THANK God for allowing me cancel one name from the back of my bible.. =D
Yeah.. and not forgetting.. the 3rd person that i pact to meet in heaven dear jing..
not forgetting a trip i want to make to the cemetry to find the 1st person i pact to meet in heaven.. PRAISE THE LORD..
i know its dumb that i just want to see the papers b4 i make decisions when clearly i know roughly what is gg to be left... =x i feel my heart tilted to one side.. just slightly.. but is that where you're leading me to God?
My chat with Karmun on Tuesday after guitar lesson was great. =) I praise the Lord for opening your heart.. Praise the Lord. Let things happen in His time.. THANK God for allowing me cancel one name from the back of my bible.. =D
Yeah.. and not forgetting.. the 3rd person that i pact to meet in heaven dear jing..
not forgetting a trip i want to make to the cemetry to find the 1st person i pact to meet in heaven.. PRAISE THE LORD..
i know its dumb that i just want to see the papers b4 i make decisions when clearly i know roughly what is gg to be left... =x i feel my heart tilted to one side.. just slightly.. but is that where you're leading me to God?
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