bP CouNcil aGain..kaipoT! pa! chuN! di! mei! eiLeeN!
*CeLeStE*

Sec ScHooL bBaLLers.. miSs u aLL toO
*CeLeStE*

aH i misS theiR craPs.. hee.. MusT caTch uP soON
*CeLeStE*

= SeC scHooL couNciLLoRs + wan mei and xian =
*CeLeStE*

supeR duPer excO meetings in the pAst woRx
*CeLeStE*

ITS OVER

yup. crap. lets not talk bout exams. today's paper was.. argh. oh well. lets see.. after paper today.. so sian mummy still at hm,ah yi ah ma daddy still have exams.. my that brothers and dota gang went to play magic card --; fel wait for helmi blah blah.. yeah~ lucky still got ah gong. we went to eat yakun at lot one. heh maChiam like ah gong bring sun nu.. yeah. yum. yakun made me full! hee.. after that we waited for mummy to arrive. waited for 2 trains lor.. hee.. we were even the first customers of world of JJ today. cos we were so bored! anyway, yup thats for the time lapse from 9 -11.45. after that went back to school for meeting. lol felt a bit sad la.. cos everyone going out but i'm going back to school for meeting ahhh... !! on the day i end my wonderful exam! oh well. sian but ah gong crapped all the way back about how pioneer was a shopping centre in town. how convincing and encouraging --; yaaa loR. oh well.. exco meeing from 11.45 to 12.45 and Gm from 12.45 to time unknown.. heh we settled all the updates.. from students centre to merchandise to dialogue session blah blah.. wheee *so exciting*.. bleah. oh well.. i slacked for while in the middle cos exco meeting only starts again at 5 and there was a time lapsE! so i went to play bball with biao jie fel, ahmad abby, my broTherS and some j1.. ahh.. cannot play with my bRos de ah.. lol. i ACTUALLY passed the ball to joseph when john is on my team. i gOT them miXed up lEH!! sua ku..ah..blur.. i thought it was super funny.. whee.. i love bball.. i played it the day before too but this j1 say i ElboweD him! den now everytime see me will "ah.. pain pain" lol so crap. whee. i love playing bball. i miss IT! i miss coach. i miss his stories! i miss training. i miss team mates i miss lynn and jiamin's crap,wanmei and yeu ai, huiting..shihwen.. ahh.. everyone else.. i miss bball court in bp. i miss coach kuku bike that goes "por por por" i miss that tree in bp that he use to encourage us with. i miss the chats. heh ahh.. oh well.. i love bball. always my passion. no matter what~ anyway, after that went back for exco meeting in lt1. i was sweating like.. a taP! heh.. oh well.. meeting took long as we settled details.. whee.. after that we went to council rm to slack, take crap pics AGAIN though this trip is use joseph phone, den sing JI PA BAN super loudly in council rm, dance mass dance and fun dance, making su "stare" at us.. before we went to eat at lot one food court at least i was the only one eating lahhh. ha.. it was a bored day.. but i think a fun one too. though saddening dat i spend it in school. but 6th council rocks! they crap my day up laa.. =) ha.. craps.
oh ya psst, due to pOp demand i try to change my blog skin ah.. but after i slack first k? heh.

hehe

yup pEople! one day was enough. *phew* my major papers are over. i know i know. this does nOT give me the right to slack but =X heh. but still a little slacking today to reward myself ba. i also dont know reward for what. physics was totally messed up. paper two was hard. oh well either that or i am stupid. heh. anyway, i'm blessed! really blessed with many nice friends! heh.. i think i got very nice diS too.. firstly i want to blog bout my this verY blessed di eDi. ha. yupyup! finally, i think you're getting what you're needing. a God-centred relationshiP! hee.. seeing u like that i think God really blessed you! =) of course i still want to thank my this di for his encouragements and all the "talks" we had despite his busYness.. and all the times for being there! even recently! oh well.. but since you're really busy i also dont go kajiaO u as much as possiBle =) jia youx anyway.. goOgO.. i support u! dont lose faith in God too! heh.. this leads me to the second Di i'm blessed with! joSepH. lolx. thaNks for all thoSe encourAgements and for advices and for faTtenIng service =X heh.. yabber and cheering me up! lala.. God bless me. Of course i always say how can i not mention mummy and ah yi and ah ma.. THanks thanks and a million thanks.. *blessed* still have many many concerned ppl.. load loads.. =) xiE xiE. oh well.. enough thanks. shall tell u bout today. after physics paper went lot one to eat with ah gong and yixin.. heh.. yup relieve stress.. Ah.. feel a bit bad cos i ps my class.. (didnt know they were eating too) *haI* anyway sorry class! mm.. after that went back to school to study for while. lol. oh my.. try studying with ah gong and kaiyin! its nO use! heh.. kaiyin itself is crap shang jia crap.. plus ah gong is already sO crap toO! crap + crap = ultimate combo. ha.. kaiyin! miss studying with her so much. studying physics with her reminded me of the days in sec school when we "qi" li jing until he get sO pissed off lor. haha teach us physics until want to vomit blood. and all the crap orchard road trips where this crap girl try to terrorize ppl =pP and mRt trips too.. haha.. kaiyin miss u! anyway, ya.. studying with them is crap! heh. aH gong wanted to give up on his chem! jia you jia you dont give up!!! =D me too! no slackings.. back to studying! wheee.. i am *blessed* .. hey.. mEiyi! i suddenly thought of u.. miss ya girl!

*bah*

i'm tired. its tiring. mugging is hard. focusing is hard. i dont want to lose focus. but things just keep coming. i thanks everyone for the encouragement. but i'm still tired. i walked home from school today. everything else seem blur. i only focus on road 1/2 a metre in front of me. the people round me seem blur, the road the car.. the trees.. everything in a whirl. or maybe its just me. thats how i walked my way home. my phone batt died on me b4 i walked. i never bothered to charge it. i never bothered to on it. this seem childish. but i came home and i hid my phone under my pillow. i hate my handphone. i know that means not replying a few people. but i dont want to see my phone. i pretend its lost. i dont care. its lost in my memory. physics paper tomorrow. i want to focus. i'm fustrated. or maybe its just pms. but den again its too fast for that. i'm tired. tomorrow's physics. i'm only half confident. my mind is disturbed.. den again, i lose focus. why must this happen today? i dont want to lose focus. its not that the things are not there. the memories are, the thoughts are. i'm just chucking them. i'm just forcing myself to focus. i dont want to lose focus.using studies to drown myself. or maybe just indulging in it. why must this happen today. its paper 2 tomorrow. i need to focus. i seem to repeat this line. maybe cos i'm convincing myself. i know out there many people is encouraging me. but today i'm just mentally drained. this is so confusing. this is so hard. this is so messy. its messing my state of mind up. still, i must focus. everything is so so so draining. focus focus focus. sorry for making you all worried. i'm just down for a day. i dont feel like talking to anyone. i dont think anyone really understands what i think. okay. or maybe i'm just stubborn. yeah. i'm just a selfish person. i just want to focus on my studies. yup. i'm selfish. i'm tired. i dont want to think. maybe kaiyin is right. its my fault. maybe yixin and joseph is right, i shouldnt blame myself. maybe mel is right i should focus. maybe maybe maybe. dont hold on. hate me. i think it'll be better. i'm not in any state to reply. i'm just sian. ah. dont talk to me now. DONT TALK TO ME NOW! *fustrated* sorry. sorry. sorry.

hey we aRe hardworking people
*CeLeStE*

once again.. the "happy" family with erm aHYI!!
*CeLeStE*

wHoo.. lucky daddy..
*CeLeStE*

ah..

Bah.. came here for while! i'm pissed off by the person singing karaoke downstairs.. HOI! i'm trying to study here! and the person sounds like he/she is killing chicken (though i know that now its the bird flu season) lolx. this is so crap.. arhh. shh.. keep quiet. maybe i should go and find some rotten eggs to throw. mm... i feel so unmotivated to study today.. i stayed at home yet this happened!!! ahh.. sigh.. jia you! to guaNG yi: jia you study!!! motivation comes from your friends.. so thanks mummy! and everyone encourage each other! its just one wk to complete one hurdle! *baH* person singing downstairs.. sHHHHH~

oO.. its boy boy daddy!
*CeLeStE*

no...its act seh..*look like mummy ya*
*CeLeStE*

hmm.. *act mud* mm...
*CeLeStE*

siblinGs! --> done specially by ahgong! we look alike~!
*CeLeStE*

study sessions

hey hey! heh.. been having super mugger sessions the past 4 days.. well, though some are just crap sessions. lets start with the 1st session.. woodland library..(didnt really want to come out and study but mJ say if i dont then he wouldnt study on the nxt day which i wanted) lolx so i came out to study! i rushed to school jUST to return my library book first though den wenT to meet the "dOta gang" to study. *bah* studied for a while.. ha.. and of course with all the entertaining story by john on the way *sorry to john and tecky made u all wait so long in sch* heh.. anyway yup that was for day 1 mugging. daY 2: location:jurong library.. heh my mum's first day at work near jurong so i decided to go out the same time as them. 8 am..(only to realise that the library opens at 10 lor) which mingjie told me opens at 9! oh well, i had my mAc breakfast,slack around (explore jurong) before the library fiNALLY opened! heh.. i studied alone before the arrival of noisier ppl =Pp nah.. just that after more and more ppl came it got more distracting. ha.. so we went to eat lunch together with mj,weijing,tecky,zhanyue.. wierd combi lah.. but i also guess thats where mj's gay love story started *cough* haha.. well.. i studied all the way until 6plus pm with edward joining us on the way.. well.. today had a rather productive morning but a little lay back evening as it got noisier =pP oh well.. day 3: location: jurong library... heh.. i did the same thing. reached at 8 and waited for the opening of the library at 10. oh well, today felicia and tecky came early too.. and we met zhanyue and weijing again! oh well, sleepy ming jie joined us later.. yupz .. wasnt really very productive today. but heh.. it was really crap seeing how ming jie and zhanyue developed their *cougH* ahem.. okay.. anyway, soon Edward Helmi and joseph joined us in studying (at various times).. oh well.. muaha.. i tOTALLY got overdose of dota today.. (not that i play) but i guess this is just what u get for studying with "dota gang" lolx. actually i was already feeling quite "pissed" with edward cos hE's noRT toTally focusing on his studies. sigh *nags* like what lishi said i guess we all did our best but we cant do much.. but bah.. its just irritating to see things unfold like that!! ppl say the best way is to get his "gang" to encourage him. i guess so.. i mean if even they gave up on him..i dont think anyone can help him lerx. yup i guess we sHould start "anti-dota" just for this weekends till after commons at least? haha.. i was really *bah* hearing him still talking bout dota in the library. *oi.. his fellow friends should not be his accomplice* ha.. its really true that some ppl needs to mug and some are just rather smart. and u really must know what type u are! i say i know i'm the kind who need to spend time mugging.. it just happens that edward's friends are quite smart bahs. haiz.. its really sad to see this. but i really felt happy for meL! meL i think u are doing great! jia you!!! ... enough bout others.. mE too ! i need to be highly motivated! and i hope i will! now..just when i was overdosed bout dota topic NORMAN was telling me this morning "i didnt slee" cel: why? nor: i was playing games cel:what game? nor: DOTA~!!!! *arh....* i almost "fainted" upon hearing that. lolx. went back to class this morning and the guys started talking dota... ah.. since when did this infect my class guys?? haha.. arhh... !!! *i refuse to learn dota* i think it takes u away from the world.. mm.. at least the reality world.. or at least it really robs away interaction time.. *bah* norman says he'll have self discipline and not play today. but that wad all the dota gang ppl always say.. say no use lor.. look at john! i thought he would really stop. lolx.. in the end still play.. aiz *oh well shall not comment* =D anyway, day 4: location: school. haha i went for consultation with physics teacher. after that spent time studying with mummy daddy ah ma ahyi biao jie, ahmad and yi xin. hee.. we studied and i got to eat ba kut teh.. yum i craved for it for long! daddy went to buy it. oh well, we took crappy pictures again! to de-stress.. i think its really fun =) anyway, felicia made joseph and i sick!! she passed her flu over.. hor.. nah.. mine stopped and so has his.. so dont feel so guilty okay? =D dont worry biao jie.. i think u have a very caring bf! hee.. jia you! oh ya.. anyway on a side note... i suddenly miss Mrs Gan.. i just suddenly thought of her.. but i really feel i dui bu qi ta.. look at my chinese.. anyway i thought of something .. Mr tan hak soon's birthday just passed too!! =D yabber~

~daddy and mummy~
*CeLeStE*

ah gong and my bag! *pink* *cough*
*CeLeStE*

ah gong and boxers
*CeLeStE*

thi is take on a neoprint machine
*CeLeStE*

~ serxing and i ~
*CeLeStE*

this cutesy eeyor~ so cuteeee
*CeLeStE*

just a really cute book i want to get =X
*CeLeStE*

heh.. ooPS. wait till i get the better quality pic. but thats my jacket with ah gonG~
*CeLeStE*

lOOK! its a boxers we saw at town! it can measure =X
*CeLeStE*

my really *gay*erm.. happy.. daddy.. =X with my handbag!
*CeLeStE*

Hey!

heh.. had not been updating! i've got so much to update about! well, lets start off my first day of my holidays with a banG~ i went out with lailai ahyi,ah ma,ah guang ah gong,mumMy karmun and daddy Soon leng. we went to town to chill and took sO much crappy pictures!! so stressed up with our tests. hee.. it was a really great chilling sessioN; started off with me getting lost in town again while trying to find cineleisurE! ah...! heh..oh well, though somethings did happen in the midst of the movie while we were watching.. the sms was rather spoiler lah.. but oh well.. i love my "family". they gave me alot of encouragement. especially on the way back the chat with guang yi *thanks ah* feeling much better lerx. the show we watch was date movie.. to john *HIGHLY reCoMmEnDED* why? cos the whole show was so se!! it was so crap, so lame, so se!!! lolx. its just plain funny that we laughed *uncouthly* out loud...*shi tai* heh.. oh well.. that was day one! and let me see.. on sunday i went out to open houses.. nus and smu! ahh.. serxing and i got lost in smu... we walked such a freaking long way that we got so fustrated with the school. hee.. oh well, sorry 05s12 and council ppl who wanted to go open house together! i kind of promise serxing first *hor giRL* i didnt pang seh u! well, came home from open house and heard some stuff happened. oh well.. i really conclude.. in 2 of the things that happened this friday and saturday and sunday.. *somethings are really not worth getting pissed,angry or just sad over* its just really plain waste of our precious resources! heh.. yup! its really totally that way. sometimes when hatred get into oneself.. everthing one do is just so..==; oh well.. *bah* hee.. anyway, i'm really blessed with very very nice "family", council, and maternal side of my real family. =) heh. *blessed child of God* oh well, stress building up! ppl, dont think just because its the holidays we can all just slack hor. its NOT THAT WAY! study hard okay! =) i'll upload the nice pics and crap pics!

BOO

HeY! yupx just came back from a really long day *tireds* hee.. well. had been really busy recently. Studying for maths common test! it was today. i spent a really long time studying for it worx. *sigh* oh well, really must that Daddy for helping me and teaching me maths with his wonderful knowledge,spending his pRecious time after school! thank ah gonG for teaching me maths last minute at like 12 am =X and many others who studied with me or helped me or send me ENCOUraGing smses.. and Ms Xiao for the time of consultations. hee. anyway, today maths paper i felt was better than prelim. but oh well, i dont just feel like aiming to pass.. i want to get good grades!!! so i felt quite sad after doing the paper! it was a real brain drain! anyway after that as a form of reliving stress, i really wanted to just go and chilll outside school before going back to support roadrun and finale! heh. so a bunch of us waled to ten mile junction to eat! i bought chocolate sweets*=pP* cheer myself uP! yup went back and cheered for road run *bah* i really felt like running. =( but oh well... anyway, i was rather depressed today. maybe cos after doing the maths paper..den later i suddenly realise i've so much other "problems". heh, maybe i just tried to be ignorant about them. i guess a chat with priscilla jus brought reality back to me bah.. ahh.. *i cant think of how* hoW??? nah that problem is too deeply mixed up and integrated with many issues. guess i just have too much contentions to actually try to follow up anything =( arh.. how? anyway, besides that problem, i guess i have the problem of something too =X i know.. somehow today even mass and fun dance couldnt take my worries off! luckily had the crappy dota gang ppl to crap me up. lolx the dance that edward and mj did was really entertaining. anyway we went to eat at lot one mac after the campfire.campfire was quite fun anyway! but i really hope i dont mcee the way the mcee did cos it was rather --"" heh.back to lot one macs.. i was half asleep upon reaching lot one! after waiting ages for johnny,daddy, ah yi ah ma to appear (we already ate finish) lol!! yup. it was fun.. *special thanks to ah yi ah ma and daddy and mummy and ah gong and pris* lolx.. for some it was bringing me back to reality,for most ppl mentioned, its for really encouraging me.. i know.. i'm finE! i'll be strong and jia you!! i hope God would bless me thru allll my worries!! God bleessss and I WILL CHEER UP!!! =D *hugs* my family! i'm tired! zzzz

~HapPy biRthdaY soOnlenG daDdY~
*CeLeStE*

GuanG yi (refers to blog) =pP
*CeLeStE*

~nerdy Celeste(mugger in the making)~
*CeLeStE*

hahaha...

HEY! heh.. i've got a super cool new discovery! look at the two nerdy pictures below... guess what.. look really carefully.. i think guang yi looks like my long lost siblinG!! lolx.. anyway.. we concluded on the fact that we really looked like sibling.. haha.. (despite hearing alot of ppl said that before) lolx sO coOl lor.. i think nxt time we shall take such a spec and wear den take pic. heh.its cool!! anyway, i love hand ball pe! its really fun.. heh.. sigh. my stamina has drop due to not doing half the pe lessons.. i think i shall go and run tomorrow.. (MUST get rid of my hidden fats) =pP anyway.. for the DadDy soon leng picture.. ha..HAPPY BIRTHDAY sOoN leNG... look at that picture! i drew the childish card =pP its sO funny toooo... =pP kk.. thats all for my short blogX.

*tired*

Heyx. i'm back to update! yup. today has been just a mentally tired day for me. well. yup. its the release of the A level results. Must be thinking what A level has to do with me right? oh well. ALOT! my chinese results are out. well, actually.. i really dont know which was the bigger fear.. i had a very big fear upon going to school today. not really knowing which was the bigger fear.. the fear of seeing people or the fear of seeing the paper.sigh. by the time it was after school, i was already having the fear chill =X luckily my really nice 05S12 ate lunch together.. taking my mind off everything. =\ i cant really describe how i felt today. before the collection of results it really seemed like i was having 'senior"phobia.. plus that butterflies flying in my tummy about my cl results. sigh. being in the super hot hall waiting for the results to be announced, i looked around..and tried not to feel scared. yupx. sigh..sigh..*cant describe how i feel* finally the results ceremony started.well, looking at the list of top students.. 3 distinctions- Darius Koh (wah.. really impressed and motivated by how u made the improvement all the way since promos! i want to follow in ur footsteps) 3 distinctions- Goh Jenn Yang(yup.. really glad to see his name there though it was expected.) actually this two were the only people i knew. yup. *sigH*.after the results session, i rushed back to my CT class to get my results.. *look* i'm really disappointed in my results.. really really. was really feeling just so crap. after that i went back to the hall.. really glad to see so many happy seniors..of course with some crying. it really make me think like what mr tong say in his blog.. "will it be you or will it not be you".. admit it. i'm really scared.as much as i do not want that to be me.. i got really demoralised by my cl. that aside.. i really didnt know which was worst..walking past without stopping to talk cos i really dont know how to.. or my piece of cl results that i've been clutching.. *argh*.. went to talk to Mr Yeo Gng sng,Mrs Chua and Zhan Zhi*cough*. of course, after thinking, being troubled, stoning... i've decided to retake my chinese. yup. if you're reading this.. let me emphasise I CHOSE TO RETAKE MY CHINESE..
here.. i just want to thank this very special people who helped me through my troubled day.....
starting with Mr Yeo Gng Sng (for the wonderful practical advice), Mr Dennis Yeo (for saying "go retake go retake"), Mrs Chua Ting Ting (for the insight on whether to retake), Zhang zhi lao shi(for making me WANT to prove u wrong.. and well.. maybe for ur discouragement *bah*),Serene and Felicia Goh (for being concerned),05s12(for being my best class), Yixin(for running around with me to find teachers and all the motivation),John(for saying u'll "cover" me when u knew i was =\), Joseph(for the "supportive sms") and his doggy(for being on my phone and pei wo study),Eugene(for the concern),Felicia Yeo(for ur concern),daddy soon leng(for saying u'll wait for my cl lessons to end in the future),mummy karmun,ahyi lai lai,ahma lishi,maid suzzie(to all of u.. thanks for the concern seeing my troubled blankout face in mpr3 just now),i think i missed out alot more..but i'm having a mental block now.. to everyone who care~ **to all those mentioned above.. i just want to tell all of u.. u've given me great motivation to get through this.. i'll work hard and get a better grade.. i wouldnt want to disappoint anyone of you. especially my lao shiS minus one*cougH* =)
~~~ Celestine's paradox of stress:Even though you feel stessed,you still feel like u're slacking~~
i'm not sure if my decision is really right.. i know.. i'm just taking the easy way out... =X