...God's child....

Fustruations only GOD understands.

2011-07-23T15:47:00.000+12:45

Havent been back for so long. Only because i wonder where all my rants went usually.
today i just need to rant somewhere.
For once i feel i couldnt rant out loud because somehow it gets misunderstood.
Rants. Rants. Rants.
how come i couldnt think of anyone i could rant to?
I only can find GOD and secretly my blog.

tired tired tired..
u dont understand.

why do i feel quite unappreciated?

was i like that too when i was doing my own 5/10 weeks?

Need time off with GOD.
because when i refuse to share or rant out loud, it only hardens the heart.

exams =p

2010-11-22T01:53:00.000+13:45

Haha.. i know most of my friends probably gave up reading my blog =p So i shall just blog for the fun of it.. well fun in some sense ...

i guess i've been too busy to keep up with the hobby of blogging.
too busy to rant.
too bust to do things.

Busyness isnt the best excuse for everything.
while i am being so busy studying, i pray my friends would all be patient and wait for me =)
i promise to try to be a better friend after exams.
a better cg mate
a better child
a better friend.

=) Exam stress are definitely cramping in.
need prayers =)
Thanks.

a lousy way to end youth sunday (read with a pinch of salt)

2010-07-04T22:55:00.000+12:45

while some parents see GOD first, mine just dont happen to do so.
sometimes i just get really envious..
really really envious of being able to be a second generation christian.

What would it be like growing up in a christian family?
How different would it be?

GOD i really hate the burden of carrying my parents salvation.
sometimes the burden is so heavy that i feel myself blaming and hating You instead.

While on one hand i had a wonderful youth sunday, i didnt really have a good ending.
The moment i stepped home i heard these voices:

"waste time"
"spend so much time in church"
"you got better things to do"

coupled with the thoughts i had last week, i felt very upset and irritated.
wasnt it something i struggled since sec 2?

Lord, when is it going to end?
How is it going to end?

Just when i decided to catch up with my sleep and rest,
i had to be dreaming about this,

i dreamt that i invited my parents to one of the outreach services just as i would usually do so,
my mum had convinced my dad to come along but he was quite unwilling.
they came but the moment he reached church,
he said "this is a waste of time" and he convinced my mum to go back home.
I remember going back home with them instead.

Why? Why does it always seem to be like that even in my dreams?
It sometimes makes me hate my dad to be so passive and hindering.
So basically i didnt really have my very good rest.

I wanted to leave the house for a walk after dinner, didnt help with all the naggings again.
I know it really isnt edifying for me to give such attitude,
but im tired of trying so hard but it still doesnt move much.

im angry at my parents - not edifying
Im angry at GOD - not edifying

I hate it because this is almost the thing GOD has caused my tears to shed so many times since sec 2 because i always asked GOD why not christian parents, why give me the burden, why?

and so these are just rants and should be ignored.
okay. i know there are answers to all the things i said above but for now i just feel like ranting
because im just being defiant.
after all its youth day.

God is good

2010-05-10T18:09:00.000+12:45

God is good :)
I prayed hard and He was willing to give me what I wanted.
God, thank u for such grace :)

I'm posted to Fairfield Methodist school primary!!
It was a scary wait for posting since it is like a posting some sort 'for life'. :)

Thank you God.
Now I'm waiting for my grades...
Waiting for the even bigger decision
out to the world or back to study.
This affects my spiritual journey altogether.

So if God willing... What would it be? :)

oh well the only downside,
no one is going with me.

I hope that doesn't mean I eat alone.
Haha. Any lunch buddies?

God is love

2010-05-09T18:57:00.000+12:45

:) I was reminded to grow in patience understanding and love. Was reminded after hearing today's mothers day sermon.

In all relationships we tend to feel hurts that we carry and baggage along if no one reacts in love.
I was reminded be it with my parents or with my friends
in situations when you don't seem to understand
in situation when it seems you can't comprehend
there is a reason behind.

Our parents don't scold us for no reason,
our friends don't shun away for no reason,

but unless you choose to react in love and show more understanding, instead of reacting in resentment and feeling hurt,

I was reminded to turn to God for that perfect love
so that I will have a bigger capacity to understand and love people around me.

During the sermon they said
the closer the person,
the greater hurt you feel when the person does something that hurts you

I was reminded this sermon
to love unconditionally despite being hurt
because if you choose to resent and ignore,
things only get worse.

God, I shall intentionally choose to pray and love others.

Anyway
Thank God for reminding me.
Love my family,
thank God for mothers
happy mothers day!

That's what friends are for

2010-05-08T18:16:00.000+12:45

I learnt something new that I can't fit into my vocabulary.

What's the definition of friends?
I thought it was someone to grow and walk with you thru ups and down.

Today I learnt a new definition of it.
The totally opposite of the above sentence.

I guess if that's ur definition of friendship..
Then okay... It's understood.

Sometime it makes me wonder whether there's a line for sharing concern for your friend. On some days, you wonder whether it is worth caring for your friend and yet receive unequal treatment. Although Im very much tempted to say it's not fair and it's not worth doing so. But, I know while I'm angry and irritated, my definition of friendship should not consist of not worth and not fair.

On one hand, I shall intentionally still choose to care and show concern as much as I can.

But if this is the way friends are treated,
then I realized maybe

It wasn't even a friendship to you.

I remember Kester saying if we move out of Cefc,
we'll miss alot of friendship and bonds made.

I ask myself,
what kind of friendship?

Having blogged all these, I probably should be ignored because I'm just feeling the unjust of maintaining a froendship.

God give me the wisdom and love please...
Or maybe I should just ignore it and pretend that this is the right way friends are supposed to be treated
and that it is NORMAL

Distinction in God's eyes

2010-04-23T17:31:00.000+12:45

Oh my goodness... Ya it's so OMG for me...
How many of you think practicum is coming to an end?
Nie trainees all raise hand
How many of you think you can relax this two weeks ahead?
Nie trainees all raise hand

my ct just called me, she said
'Celestine, we have decide to give you a chance for moderator to come in for your distinction. Of course, there are room for improvement here and there but we feel that your lessons are well planned and you have improved.'

To me, the moderator doesn't matter.
To me, after hearing what my cts said, that is already my distinction.

Thank you God for giving me this chance to be recognized.
I'm no longer concern about the outcome or the moderator.
I have got my distinction in God's eyes. :)

I fall in awe of an awesome God who covers me in all season.

So as I prepare for the as my supervisor describes as 'stressful moderator coming' period...
Please pray that I look to Him in all seasons.
Not to fear being judged by ppl but
remember my grades are lifted up to my great God

Practicum =)

2010-03-25T01:52:00.002+13:45

my dear blog have the honour to be my listening ear today =p

Let me see!

Today i was reminded to give thanks for blessings that GOD give to me.
Being worried about my observations time and time again but GOD reminded me that whenever i do my best, GOD will do the rest. So, i should not be so caught up with results!

Today, i had a pretty good lesson observation and i would like to give the honour to GOD.

Of course and my super cute class =) haha a bunch a teachable cute kids =)
Totally enjoy teaching them!

Well, THANK YOU GOD for seeing me through this observation.

3 cleared 7 more to go. OH my GooOdness not even halfway there yet!

God i need more of your strength and power.
but
but
but,

through it all, i remind myself constantly,
results/ affirmation/ wanting to be "recognised" should be secondary
but

to do my best in what GOD called me to do!

Thank you GOD for constantly reminding me =)

The Promise

2010-01-18T23:24:00.000+13:45

I love you
And I will never leave you
Nor forsake you
And I love you
And i will never leave you

you are my child
you are my child
when you're down
when your heart is broken
when no one seems to care
please know that I love you

cuz you are my child
you are my child
and i want to wrap my arms around you
and i want to wrap my arms around you
and say everything,everything will be alright

you are my child
you are my child
let me wipe those tears from your eyes
let me wipe those tears from your eyes

come to me
come to me
come to Jesus
come to him
come to Jesus
come to him

The lyrics from MERCY ME - The Promise

Until you suddenly realise GOD's love is the most comforting thing i own, i start to cherish that feeling so much.

GOD,

Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for your promise.
Thank you for comforting me.
Thank you for being there when i'm alone.
Thank you for letting every single word in this song comfort me.

what will i do without you.

.reality.

2010-01-18T00:32:00.000+13:45

I thought...
I really wanted...
It's like a desire...
it's like a celebration i thought

but sometimes, you just have to let it go...

i thought...
I really wanted..
but i realised...
It isnt like i'm achieving something fabulously great after two years..
it isnt like i'm getting a cap..
it isnt that special that i'm finishing this season...
it's just changing season..
it isnt worth celebrating...
so

why feel a need to celebrate so grandly..
just move on to your next phrase of life...
so...

i let go.
they're nothing but just wishful desires.

Dedicated to Ming Xuan (05 Jan 03) =)

2010-01-05T20:48:00.000+13:45

Ming Xuan,

So fast it's 5th December again.

Although mostly every year without fail i would go to the grave, i decided to give it a miss this year. It isnt because i have forgotten to do so =) But because i want to tell myself that going to the grave on this day is not just a ritual that i practice yearly but it is a way i remember you with. It is so easy to get carried away thinking it is a ritual huh~

Today i was reading the book "The Lovely Bones" (a perspective from heaven)...
As i read the book, i pondered about heaven and how it was like.
haha so, where are you at i wonder? Definitely safe with GOD! haha but i wonder if u actually can see me typing this.. thats quite cool...

SEVEN years already. Time really flies.
sometimes i wonder how you would be if you really grew up like us. =)

It has come to a point i celebrate 7 years that you've left to a better place =)
It's no longer something sad but something to rejoice.

So long dear friend =)
P.S. Read the book "THE LOVELY BONES"

2010

2010-01-03T23:21:00.000+13:45

Reflections:

I know.. i'm probably the worst child of GOD in 2009. I havent took time to reflect 09 because i know how much i probably have disappointed GOD and so i know i didnt want to do so. Today as i worship GOD with the chorale and the congregation for 3 services i was reminded so many things. I was packing my cupboard and i came across my diary dated 2003. I saw so many entries that would scold myself whenever i dont pray.. i also came across many entries that i wrote out my prayers.. 2003 = Sec 3... i saw that passion i had for GOD that i lost in 2009 which was why i decided as much as i dont want to reflect, i had to.

I remember standing outside butter factory on the eve eve of new year last week. I saw people who would find joy in other things like drinking, and ppl who join the crowd walking not knowing where they are heading. As a rather drunk guy came up to us and say " THIS IS THE DECADE of ours and we have to live it up because 10 years later we will be busy with kids family and stuff" I reflected and realise to him... this 10 years ahead was for him to party it away. I thought... what about me? am i going to "waste" or "party" away this Decade that (like he say) we own?

This was my passing thought on that day....

GOD does not let passing thought just go like that.. the day of new year, i attended dawn prayer. Pastor said "THIS 2010 is OUR DECADE .. and along the same line that we have to live it up" I was thinking .. two very different people (a clubber and a pastor) saying the SAME statement... i was just amazed at how GOD was pointing to me NOT to waste this decade away but to grow and root deep and serve because THIS is OUR decade. Indeed that dawn prayer i realised how i wasted 2009 away.. but GOD's grace and love for me is still unending.. NOTHING can beat being in the presence and dwelling in HIS presence..

I was definitely assured of GOD's love when i served this SUNDAY THREE services. One thing about worship is that from the stage time and time again i see people crying and tearing because i look down and i see GOD's love pouring and outflowing into them that it is so overwhelming. GOD presence is so mightly felt and seen whenever i look down into the congregation...

I know... I KNOW GOD loves us..

I know GOD loves me.. i know GOD loves you.

THANK GOD for 2009.
Sorry for 2009.

but

2010 is here and i will live it for you Lord.

Thanksgiving Post

2009-12-30T01:07:00.000+13:45

Have been slightly busier going out and stuff after the TNG camp but i decided to blog down some of my thanksgiving and reflections.

Firstly, I thank GOD for opening my eyes and heart for the youth. I guess while i shuttled between the group and org com, i still thank GOD for allowing me to spend most my time with the youth in my group and hanging out with them. There was a long session where i had the opportunity to pray and share with a few youth. It opened my heart and eyes to see that these youth needed someone to pray and guide them. Therefore, i would say the TNG camp definitely opened my eyes and give me great anticipation with the changes that the youth ministry is going to have.

Secondly, I thank GOD for good grades. I wouldnt deny that sem and sem again i look at my grades and tell GOD how undeserving i think i am to get such good grades. I am only reminded that it is only by HIS grace that my grades are well. Although it still didnt reach my 4.5 gpa that i was aiming to target, but i recognise that what i have is GOD given and is defintely better.

So, THANK GOD for my 4.39 (although my grades seem to increase at a constant rate of 0.02 each sem) haha.. =)

Thank GOD for some catchups with su xian, hao, wanmei, edi... just lacking the fArt fam..

My Thanksgiving this month of December.

....In memories....

2009-11-24T11:23:00.000+13:45

I write this in memory and in reflection of a life that now lives in our memory but definitely taught us some things....

This was what kept going through my mind at mandai...

In life we get to cross our path with someone just for that moment, but we often fail to realise the importance of sharing the gospel...

At that moment i felt the need to share.. because..
if only he had a chance to respond to u...
If only someone asked him that question...

It may not be our mission to bring him to Christ but...
at least share and ask...

God, i was reminded so so so reminded to share and not regret the next time or rather each time...

well, in loving memories..(as i wrote in the book)
It has been fun:

Beating NIE orientation Queue for us
Virtual NIE tour
Attending all our Friday morning lectures
East Coast Park

and this is how i remember u best by how u communicate with Amanda ..

But i know for sure...

GOD is still good through it all..

God is our Healer

2009-11-17T11:02:00.000+13:45

Ming Xuan...The first person who taught me what was death was you and i thought of you... You taught me what was it like to lose a friend but I know someday God will let us meet once again. But most importantly God taught me how to overcome it and remember u still.

Today I grief the lost of another it's a very unreal feel but this time God teach ppl to grow stronger thru u alone.u have a glorious plan for her so please teach her grow herand empower her. Though this trip I don't know where this friend of mine is heading, I just pray for grace and mercy upon Him...

God is our Healer

2009-11-17T11:00:00.000+13:45

The first person who taught me what was death was you and i thought of you... You taught me what was it like to lose a friend but I know someday God will let us meet once again. But most importantly God taught me how to overcome it and remember u still.

Today I grief the lost of another it's a very unreal feel but this time God teach ppl to grow stronger thru u alone.u have a glorious plan for her so please teach her grow herand empower her. Though this trip I don't know where this friend of mine is heading, I just pray for grace and mercy upon Him...

Jesus take the Wheel (not the steering wheel)

2009-11-09T02:58:00.000+13:45

=) I was really reminded again and again....
Jesus take the wheel of my life... because i cant do this on my own..
I know i have been living my life on my own this sem..
taking my wheel in my own hand..
Trying to score good grades with my own power..
for my own purpose and my own glory...
that is so so so so so selfish to get caught up in my own life.
WHERE is GOD?

was reminded to let go.. let go and let GOD take charge.

So, here's a reminding abstract of this song...

one more week to end of school.. still not too late to let GOD take charge.. right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT4f9gfCJvk
JESUS take the wheel....

I've been living my life

I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh

The Next Generation

2009-09-27T18:34:00.000+13:45

Reminded during today's sermon by this inspiring video.

The Question is: In ten years, Would you have make a difference?

Reminded the importance of "Nurturing The Next Generation. =)"

...

2009-07-06T17:55:00.003+12:45

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

Hate being confused about GOD's standard...
And this is all the bible says.
so vague.
If all is vainity
we should just eat bread daily and any other food should be vainity isnt it.
we should just have one entertainment and the rest are vainity right.
we should just have the basic needs and the rest are vainity right.
where should we stop.
where is the line.
okay.. i'm being negative here.

To tell him that YOU love him

2009-06-10T00:42:00.000+12:45

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

Chorus:
So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear
is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth

Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance
to tell him that You love Him

But here I go again
Here I go again

Lord, You love him so
You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe
He will never die
But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

Chorus:

But here I go again
Here I go, here I go

Chorus:

This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him
This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him

You love him, You love him
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard?

Yup. Maybe this time... i'll speak your Words of Life.
What am i so afraid of?

How do you preach the gospel in chinese and hokkien or even bring up the gospel to someone you've never ever talked about the gospel to? or maybe never even been extremely close to your whole life? yet you know you have limited time left to at least let him hear and know of the gospel once.. at least once.. and you know that you have done at least your best for GOD.

God, give me the wisdom to preach the gospel to my grandfather though i dont know how.
Lord, give him the time to listen..

(oh oh oh oh..... oh oh oh OH) =p

2009-06-07T23:41:00.000+12:45

Today is the day..
YOu have made...
i will rejoice and be glad in it.....
(oh oh oh oh).....(oh oh oh oh)

watch it =p
we sang this song during worship today...
i sooooo have it stuck in my head...

Indeed GOD, rejoice and be glad in today and not worry about tomorrow =p

BECAUSE i trust in what you say! (oh oh oh oh).....

I Stand in Awe of You

2009-06-02T02:59:00.000+12:45

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCacla77PoY

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful of comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp you infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depth of your love
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of you
I stand, I stand in awe of you
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of you.

These are the words i have for GOD...
Results are out today....
I stand in awe of my Holy GOD, in awe of HIS grace upon me.

my grades i would say are not bad... 4.37, an improve from 4.33...
my initial reaction was still disappointed!!
ya! (proving that human wants are really never enough)

but after a while i start to give thanks and realised that i stand in awe of a holy GOD who blessed me although i neglected HIM for near a semester..
as i reflected upon how GOD was so small this semester as i was constantly "distracted",
yet GOD in His mavellous grace and infinite wisdom showered His grace upon me and maintained my grades.. i can never understand GOD's blessings...

i thank GOD.. and i PRAISE GOD.. and i say...

I stand in awe of your grace upon an unworthy servant..

THANK AND PRAISE BE TO GOD for my grades..

Amen =)

Will Jesus Find us Watching?

2009-04-23T05:06:00.003+12:45

Exams ended!
Managed to catch a movie : Knowing.it was in fact a very remindful movie...
reminded me whether when end times come will i be caught doing something displeasing to GOD?
Would i be watching for His coming or would i be caught earning more money?
or even in the midst of sin?

Matthew 25:1-13

Will we be caught not watching(v.13) like the bride in the parable?

This reminded me of a hymn i remember during church camp in sec sch...

http://nethymnal.org/htm/w/i/willjesu.htm

When Jesus comes to reward His servants,'
Whether it be noon or night,
Faithful to Him will He find us watching,
With our lamps all trimmed and bright?

Refrain

O can we say we are ready, brother?
Ready for the soul’s bright home?
Say, will He find you and me still watching,Waiting, waiting when the Lord shall come?
If, at the dawn of the early morning,
He shall call us one by one,
When to the Lord we restore our talents,
Will He answer thee—“Well done”?

Refrain

Have we been true to the trust He left us?
Do we seek to do our best?
If in our hearts there is naught condemns us,
We shall have a glorious rest.

Refrain

Blessèd are those whom the Lord finds watching,
In His glory they shall share;
If He shall come at the dawn or midnight,
Will He find us watching there?

Refrain

Indeed blessed are those who the LORD finds watching... are we watching for the LORD?
"Knowing" was indeed a remindful movie of LORD's second coming.. i'm looking forward to see JESUS tell me "well done good and faithful servant"

bros and sis, wait and watch upon Him.

GOD's love

2009-04-07T17:24:00.000+12:45

LOVE.

This is an amazing word. Over the past weeks, GOD taught me so much about this word "love". LOVE is such a powerful word from GOD. I have learnt to grow to love ppl around me GOD's way.

Can we fanthom such great unconditional love?
Can we even understand HOW GREAT is His love?

Today i stand in awe of GOD's love because i know i am not worthy of that love.. but yet GOD gave me that love. Can you imagine the patience He as towards me? Seeing me sin again and again and again against Him but yet HE LOVES ME!
No human can do that! seeing someone so dear sin and sin and sin and sin and sin again.. but HE response in LOVE.
Isnt His dictionary of "LOVE" sooooooooo great?

I know GOD is growing me this season.. because i've been starting to see Him work and mould me and show me my inadequacy.
I am excited to let Him grow me.

I reflected upon this "LOVE" and i realised i want to be like GOD.
I want to be like Him to love all around me with that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and Patience.
I am unable to achieve perfect love but i strive to grow to be like Him.

I ask myself what is it to give Unconditional love?

Think along with me here... UNCONDITIONED !! means no matter how much someone hurts you or do not appreciate your love, you still LOVE.

I want to learn to be christ like.

This week towards easter. i know GOD is telling me to love my friends, family and even "enemies" with LOVE.

Went back to my previous church to attend an easter Cantala.. whoo..
i must say i really miss hymns..
the worship style is definitely different from covenant and i know i felt less "stressed" in a way. I guess i understood the meaning of "seat-warming" worship .. it felt really good to be back in that worship =p I started to wonder what convicted me that covenant was the convicted church that i am sure GOD called me to.. haha. i guess my answers are still in the midst of formulating. =)

Nevertheless, the theme of their easter was "no greater love"
it was such a wonderful musical presentation of the everlasting gospel (Matthew).

i was reminded indeed! there is NO GREATER LOVE that GOD's.

AMEN.

Friends.....

2009-03-17T03:09:00.000+13:45

Times like this I'm upset because you feel like they missed u out... Or maybe just no longer as important to them..or maybe It's just me and I'm not supposed to feel upset at it. Sometimes I really think it's because they are close and dear to your heart that's why I'm upset..because I know I might had drop most things to trade time to be with them... If only they asked....

I struggle to remind myself to put this upset aside.
That's for my dear friends.
They're constantly on my mind and prayers...
I wonder if I'm actually on theirs....
Times like this you get disillusioned...
And I think I'm not on theirs....

Divine Exchange (blog song)

2009-03-02T17:50:00.000+13:45

My heart is captivated Lord, by You alone
captured by the awesomeness of You alone
melted by the grace and mercy You have shown
I stand in wonder I reach to you the one who make the blind can see
who break the chains of sickness with authority
restoring of what was broken
so we may fly again

I live to worship you
I breathe to worship to you
all of my days, your face I'll seek

For as I worship you
You lead me to that place
To that place of divine exchange

This is a love song.
When does your heart gets so captivated over someone?
When you come to a point and say you live for someone, breathe for someone?
When do you seek some's face all your days?

It's a love song to GOD.
As the chorale sang this song, indeed i felt GOD's presence. I just knew GOD was with the congregation. From the stage, i can see people tearing. That alone was an amazing sight. To know that GOD's love can move and touch us so much. We are all people melted my His grace and mercy alone. Yes Lord, lead me to the place of divine exchange.

This was my great comfort admist another busy hurdle crossed.

God, I love you.

Count your blessings

2009-02-19T14:24:00.000+13:45

Counted my blessings admist tough times.

1) Flowers to cheer the week =)

2) Sweets to destress...

3) A crappy call from "sister"

4) An e-mail from Yah Ting

5) A decent pass admist expecting the worst form my screw up test.

6) Full marks for Maths was an encouragement.

7) Smses/ messages from council friends

8) Outing with Hehe fam.

I need to learn to count my blessings =)

Fustruration

2009-02-15T16:59:00.000+13:45

Celestine is fustrated and realised her tendency to blame GOD first when anything happens.

This week just doesnt seem to get better.
screwed up el test
Stressed up about assignment
stressed up for test
negative thoughts
busyness
and

God adds one more on my list.

wallet disappears in church.
Just when i was doing my membership interview.
Just when i replied i want to settle in covenant because it has a fabulous community.
then next thing i know i cant find that wallet that i brought in to the membership baptism interview room.
I cant help but to ponder what this tells me about that fabulous community i just commented on.

Fustruated at what GOD throws at me all at once.
A complaining heart blaming GOD non stop.

and it happens Just after i calmed down my week when i was worshipping
i reminded myself...crap happens but

"better is one day in your courts than thousand elsewhere"

God sustain please.

7 random things i struggle

2009-02-14T02:59:00.000+13:45

1) The unsent sms in my hp drafts.
2) My friends arent easy to meet up today and they mostly dont believe me today.
3) The essay and the test due on Monday
4) Maybe Edi was right when he said "birthdays are just another day" im starting to believe that special festives arent special, they're just another day in your calandar
5) Thinking which part of Singapore i can hide at to study.
6) Wondering why i cant even find someone to go out for dinner.
7) Baptism/Membership interview on Sunday when my heart isnt rested

depressing.... depressing...
stressed... stressed...

Run to God

2009-01-23T18:12:00.000+13:45

Certain things GOD surfaces that tugs your heart
that causes you to struggle inside...
how do most people react to it?

I realised the immediate reaction i had.. to run away from GOD.
He has been reminding me about certain things that i havent been quieting my heart to hear.
Having my first reaction to run away from GOD's plan.

I remember Kat's story of how letting GOD take control and surrending is to learn to surrender your own vision and die to self and let GOD totally take control. I think it's a reminder for me that indeed i may thought GOD was leading me that way but maybe He is teaching me to surrender my own vision to Him before He can work fully. Though now i'm stuck in a limbo of not really knowing what i can do or what i can do or what i should do, whats my role, whats my calling, with the initial reaction of just serving by going thru the motions or "running away" from His calling by just not doing anything or even the reluctance inside to serve because i dont know how...

but i just want to remind all of us and remind esp myself

to press on in His vision of leading..
not to have my own perspective or vision but His
to serve whole heartedly and not half heartedly
to just press on to love and encourage bros and sis
regardless of anything else..
God will reveal His calling in HIS TIME.

Reminded not to run from HIS purpose..
Run to GOD...

You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

Therefore, two things i run to GOD to seek..
1) cg
2) practicum school

Lead me Lord

2009-01-22T13:38:00.000+13:45

The song that chorale is learning...
i remember i was humming it to myself admist the busyness.
Really remindful lyrics.

Lead me Lord....

...celebrations..

2009-01-19T17:11:00.000+13:45

I cant really put a finger into this...

"Dont really feel the CNY mood.."
"Dont really feel the celebration"
never the less...
feeling quite happy =)
i think cny tidbits make me high =p

Just cant wait to catch up with some of my dear friends...

Life been happening at relatively quick pace.. =p
too fast to catch ....

just something cute from my lecture to share =p

First day of School =)

2009-01-06T01:02:00.000+13:45

Celestine is ready to rock this sem for GOD.

hehe... what a funny starting line right =p
yupyup felt very on fire on my first day of school.
praying this passion wouldnt falter.

Started school today with a great day...
i'm thankful for GOD blessing me with a bunch of ppl to study and hang out with in NIE.
Today we had our random-unplanned-in-advance outing with amanda,andrea,sukching,ben,desmond,sheryl...with jason driving us and dropping us off. =) so thankful to start the sem of knowing that we'll have one another to mug and destress with =) yupyup. tooo bad no one brought a cam since we didnt expect an outing.
Thanks for friends and encouragement...
I so feel like starting to study now =P
reminding myself to thank GOD and study for HIS glory.

=) FIrst confirmed outing for my birthday celebrations =)
28th Jan night... NIE friends =)

*quite excited for the sem ahead*

Hols

2009-01-05T01:12:00.001+13:45

Too much happenings to update in this one month plus holiday.
i am definitely satisfied with the break i had.
So much to update (slowly in time to come)

Just have to say.. i'm glad to meet up with almost everyone i intended to!

lunch buddies
fartty fam
dota gang
edi, chun
classmates!!
hehe fam
WALLA!!!
church bros and sis
Yin Hou, Mei Yi, Sam, Ser Xing
hui, heng
Matthew

now... just left a few i havent meet to make my hols a perfect one!!

-- xiAN ! gene..! junhao..! JiaXin!

think thats bout there...

=) school starts lo... =)

Hols

2009-01-05T01:12:00.000+13:45

Too much happenings to update in this one month plus holiday.
i am definitely satisfied with the break i had.
So much to update (slowly in time to come)

Just have to say.. i'm glad to meet up with almost everyone i intended to!

lunch buddies
fartty fam
dota gang
edi, chun
classmates!!
hehe fam
WALLA!!!
church bros and sis
Yin Hou, Mei Yi, Sam, Ser Xing
hui, heng
Matthew

now... just left a few i havent meet to make my hols a perfect one!!

-- xiAN ! gene..! junhao..! JiaXin!

think thats bout there...

=) school starts lo... =)

Jesus shall take the highest Honour

2008-12-12T00:07:00.000+13:45

I'm BACK.

Here to give my thanksgiving and praise to LORD JESUS.
Finally it's results day!!!
GPA - 4.33 not too bad...
although was aiming a 4.5 so a bit disappointed...
but i give thanks and praise GOD. Because i recognise that it's from HIM.

and so.. the song that keeps playing thru my mind....

Jesus shall take the highest honour

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lp_Z0oGy7k&feature=related
For all honour and blessing and power
Belongs to You, belongs to You
All honour and blessing and power
Belongs to You, belongs to You
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God

Belongs to HIM.
Thank GOD for all results.

pics at zhenghua

2008-11-27T01:58:00.000+13:45

=) there's joy =)

sense of satisfaction

2008-11-14T02:06:00.000+13:45

Last paper lorrrrr... (though it was terrible =S )
Exams ended! *finally*

Spent my day at Zhenghua for their anniversary celebrations after my paper..
Indeed seeing my students and even the band alumni ticks my heart =p
haha.. suddenly ignite my passion to teach and the euphoria that comes from seeing them grow up.
haha although i just havent seen them for like few months... but seeing them grow physically and seeing the sec school kids grow up mentally is somewhat satisfying. I guess thats the very reason why teaching makes me tick. =)

Seeing my ex-colleagues was heartwarming too =)
some sort felt like "going home"

THANK GOD for such relationships built..
Students and colleagues.. =D

prayer requests

2008-11-04T00:32:00.000+13:45

PRAY:

Guard against negative thoughts that is not from Him
Strength admist all the lethagy and aches
Trust GOD's healing
Know GOD's plan is the best
Release my fear and worries about uncertainities to HIM.
Release and surrender my life and health to HIM.

my perspective about life have been moulding and changing upon these weeks.
To say

GOD, my life is from YOU.
Do what you know is best.

*i never used to really understood this... i seem to be growing to understand this*

When the tears fall we are never alone

2008-10-29T02:59:00.000+13:45

There is one thing i will cling to...

WHen hope is lost, i call you saviour..
When pain surrounds, i call you healer...
when silence falls, you be the song within my heart

I will praise you..
when the tears fall still i will sing to you.

This is a tiring week physically and mentally...
GOD heal my pain...
though i dont know whats wrong with me..

blessings in stress

2008-10-27T05:19:00.000+13:45

Admist my stress i just had to spam some photo.. reminded myself..

GOD blessed me with people
Loved ones to see me through my stress...
I'm still blessed...

BUS journey to NIGHT safari =p

Essentially, so if you're a mugger = crocodile = buaya =p

Boyfriend?!? =p

Hmmm... girlfriend?!? =p

Finally!!! After graduating for ONE year plus =)

Still dare to celebrate birthday with us?! =p

ahhhhh bunch of us.

Fartty girls -- =) =) =) =(

Retarded piccctureeeeeee =p

Last but not least bye bye Fartty daddy... 29/10 to 01/12 ONLY la. =X haha.. enjoy with all my "friends" over there =p after that you're closer to ORD lo.. =) press on SIR!

GOD is good.
through my stomach pain which is still existing after a week..
God is still Good..
why else am i blessed with beloved friends and family..

Surrender

2008-10-25T03:19:00.000+13:45

Fear is of the devil and not of GOD.
Fear of losing unsaved loved one.
Your friends, family...

It's always been a reminder to me each wake i attend..
would it be see you again
or.. eternally gone..
sometimes the things they do there just seems like a facade to me..
It's such a struggle...

i shake with fear thinking what if it's not in His plan...
what if their names are not on GOD's book..

My greatest burden i carry that i must learn to surrender it to GOD.
sometimes making me wonder and count that i should be doing more...

How easy it is to say "God i surrender to you my all"
but you know how hard it is to really face it and do so?

My prayers go out to my bro..
it's such vulnerable time that the devil takes chance to deceive...
but GOD has been victorious at the cross..
i pray He brings you out in victory and emerge a stronger christian...

I'm sure one day.. through it all..
we'll be able to say... with pride..

"GOD Is good ALL the TIME"

lines

2008-10-05T03:18:00.000+13:45

God,
where is the line...
where is that line...
where is Your line...

seriously.. i dont know what i'm really struggling with...
i'm struggling... with a line.
fine line. thin line. Your line.

"Great is your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters into mercy
And nothing can keep us apart"

Deep down something is rebelling...
Deep down something i'm struggling..

God will deal and emerge in victory rights.
His grace is enough...

Recess week in pics

2008-09-30T02:10:00.000+13:45

Saturday -

Birthday buddy

what a pose caught in action *cough*

Chanced upon Su and Dasen!!

Our drinks

Lunch buddies =)

Monday - study
Tuesday - study + met up with edi and chun (no pics)
Wednesday - ICE SKATING!!! =) super fun and entertaining time =)
.

Saturday -

There goes my dear sister in christ.. off to study again! =) GOD BLESS...

...dedicated to my friends...

2008-09-23T01:38:00.000+12:45

Here for you

So you think you've got it all figured out
Well you know you can't make it alone
Everbody needs somebody to help them out
And you know I could be that someone
And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

Chorus :
I am here for you, always here for you
When you need a shoulder to cry on
Someone to rely on, I am here for you
So you think that love is long overdue
Tired of looking for someone to care
Let me tell you know the choice is up to you
But you know I will always be there
I am here for you, always here for you
When you're needin` someone to hold you
Remember I told you
I am here for you, I am here for you

So now you've got it all figured out
And you know you've found someone that cares
And if you ever need somebody to help you out
Well you know I will always be there
And if you ever get lost on life's highway
Don't know where to go
There's just one thing that I want you to know

Such a super nice song dedication from edi =) THANKS!
gosh 7 years passed and another 50 more to meeting in old folk's home =p
Yup i guess di reminded me about this phrase *thats what friends are for*
No doubt tough to keep up with so many friends in my life...but i guess this song is dedicated out to my friends.. Despite me being caught up with my work, with my life, nevertheless.. i will always be there.. i am here for you. (go listen it's a nice song) =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQhBAH8A9sc

... to my friends... =)
i guess i'm blessed with such covenant friends too..

...back for while...

2008-09-16T23:41:00.000+12:45

Not that i've disappeared. Just havent found time!!
Time flies! it's been a month since i blogged.

1) Apple lollipops are so not soothing... they're sour =S
2) My P2 Student chatted with me all the way home. =p
3) My CGL's married!! ;)
4) Work is never ending... waiting for end of term.... ....
5) Before i regret it, please let me meet up with yah ting before she flies again.

...Strength will rise as we wait upon the LORD...

Teaching

2008-08-29T01:26:00.000+12:45

...Teachers...

Teachers' Day is coming.
I lingered at popular to get a card for my teacher.
Yes. that makes a teacher getting a card for a teacher. =P

I'm so thankful for GOD's blessings of ppl He places in my life.
The people He uses to encourage me... =)
This is the person who spur me on and encourage me on and inspire me on today..
Ever since 8 years ago.. never failing LOVE, that's the impact of a teacher.
The teacher i desire to be too....

A teacher's love and care and influence never stops the day you graduate.
Nearly 8 years later, standing in BPPS once again.
Made a trip down to BPPS today to visit my primary school teacher.
Spent my whole afternoon revisiting the place, chatting and just reflecting.
Indeed once again i renewed that calling to teach.
A chat of reminder that teaching is not just passing academic knowledge and paper achievements. You're not just teaching a person, you're moulding someone's value and character. Once again the one and only struggle i had about joining teaching was dismissed with encouragement from my her. Realised how my heart was with BP too upon missing the place...

Teacher's are role models.
Just as i reflect how much she impacted my life, i realised that's how much an impact i could make on my student too. Teaching is never a short term thing where you see instant results or impact (unless u just look at paper results), teaching affects eternity and is a long term investment. I'm glad to say i'm a result of teacher's investment and i desire to be a teacher that invests in lifes too.

..prayer..

2008-08-21T00:12:00.000+12:45

Couldnt stop getting stuck in this limbo...

Walking with GOD or defiant child.
GOD's way or stubborn ideas.
Seeing eternity or not being practical.
Faithful God's child or wierd child.

It depends of which perspective you're looking from.

Sometimes... just sometimes... i wonder... which role i am...
will there be a day where the decisions i make in life are right in your eyes?
will there be a day where we see in that same perspective... that heaven beyond earth..
i pray we do.

...vainity...

2008-08-20T00:43:00.000+12:45

Vainity, Vainity.

I hate comparison, hate stereotypes, hate being different, hate having to please, hate superficial things, hate the things the world chases, hate the mindsets of the world, hate having to live up to the world's standard, hate trying to make ppl see that it's not all about superficial things but it's about the heart, it's about His will.

It's that hard to see things in HIS way?
Is it that hard to realise the world's standard is superficial?
Are we that blinded by treasures on earth?
Why is it when you seek GOD's way you feel so persecuted?

what exactly are we chasing after....
stop comparing with the world.

Vainity, everything, Vainity!
&

I hate it.

Aphorism

2008-08-15T01:00:00.000+12:45

"We exclude because we dont understand....
We don't understand because of limited contact...
We lack contact because we exclude."

Took this off my Psychology text.. =) Was pretty amused at this statements. In the text it was mostly in context of disabled and special needs in our society. Taking it out of context, this "theory" applies to alot of other things...

Relate to people we have bad impression about and not wanting to "include" them
Relate to GOD who people not want to "include" in their life.
Relate to things that we exclude in our life.

We exclude because we just dont want to include something unknown (lack of understanding about the thing), a lack of understanding actually due to no or little opportunities interacting with the thing, but we must recognise that we lack contact because to start with, we just dont want to include because of the assumptions and belief we already have about the thing that we just dont want to reconstruct our thoughts to include the thing.

Dont know if it make sense to you..
but i think it made sense to me =)

- Week 1 -

2008-08-11T00:16:00.000+12:45

This is to the start of school... =)

Challenging, exciting, anticipating, interesting.

Nevertheless...

GOD blessed journey.

Thanks be to GOD

2008-08-04T01:54:00.000+12:45

-- Woodland church!!! --

the excitement in me boiled. The first dop there, the first service and seeing the ppl flooding into church. It excites me, it stirs me. Such.. joy is felt =) Our chuch is built!! It is so majestic...but.. THANKS be to GOD.

-- School --

It's not that i'm not blogging. Life is just changing too fast for me to chase and update. Orientation week is over, School officially starts tomorrow. There's that start school jitters, but there's also a sense of peace. THANKS be to GOD.

Thanks to my awesome GOD....and to this song that is stuck in my head.

*Our God is an awesome GOD

He reigns from heaven above

with wisdom, power and love

Our God is an awesome GOD*

The cry out to woodlands ppl... =) The cry out to all the people on earth =)

run,,, to keep in pace... with changes...

2008-07-28T00:20:00.000+12:45

I ran today~! Though i dont think it was very far. I managed to run to my favourite place. I havent been there for a long while. It gave me such great sense of serenity to be back there. I guess it's a place that seen me thru many ups and down times... Felt a bit nostalgic..

SkY (maybe you could figure under which part of the sky i am at..)

... or how bout which part of the ground that i'm stepping on......

Dont worry i didnt run until west coast or something. It is just The only place i know that has a sand swing playground in BP... =) ...my fav place in bp...

I still havent really kept up with my changing lifestyle. Just trying to run along and to keep up with the pace.

Within 2 wks, my scheduel seems to be turned upside down...

Work ----- > school

Church ----> Woodlands

Excitedly worried. oh man. what an oxymoron.

At least i know.. He will walk me thru. His promises. =) Amen.

House made of love.

2008-07-25T01:24:00.000+12:45

I've got a home in heaven made up of love. Do you want to come along and stay?

The Doors are open... and the love is overflowing, covering you and walking you out of lonliness and fear because, we are all made to be loved.

Do you except His love invitation?

God will make a way

2008-07-24T00:53:00.000+12:45

Yesterday a teacher, Today a student.

First day of school started with briefings =)
My initial queasy feeling is slowly fading. Suddenly got really excited about starting school. Couldnt wait to study...(sound a bit sadistic) but on the other hand also having some uneasiness about having high expectations yet doubting my own ability. This explains my title. GOD WILL MAKE A WAY. Just wanted to track down this day in which i start my journey of studying. GOD will be faithful to plan my road the way He know is best for me. If it is in His plans, He will make a way. He will be faithful to complete this journey He started with me. I am comforted. I am excited. =)

After some extreme makeover and contributing to recycling... this i what i managed to clear both my office table and my room table to be.... From teacher to student... *special thanks to my dearest 'kor kor'* for helping meee =)

Happy Lunch buddy Birthday!

2008-07-21T01:21:00.000+12:45

19th July... LUNCH BUDDIES

According to some detailed calculations, this is the lunch buddy birthday !

(adding our b;days dividing by 4) =)

okay.. and to celebrate buddy john birthday too.. here's the pics.. (before i get scolded for being photo inefficient)

Boys buddies

Birthday boy buddy

*mei nu duo duo* exclusive creation for birthday boy.

girl buddies =)

It was a well spent time of eating... eating.... making attap seed pop, striking intellectual =p conversations.. and catching up on each others life. I'm glad we got to share our perspective of relationships =p the guy and girl version LOL. dearest lunch buddies... =)

...nonsensical...

2008-07-17T00:52:00.000+12:45

Feelings are also known as a state of consciousness, such as that resulting from emotions, sentiments or desires.

I feel like eating chocolate (desires)
I feel like eating ice cream (desires)

I feel like running (emotions)
I feel like playing bball (emotions)

I feel like going there. (sentiments)
I feel like doing that. (sentiments)

but i cant and i didnt.

Sometimes, reality makes feelings fantasy.

what caused me to just utter a page of nonsense.

I will sing....

2008-07-14T00:23:00.000+12:45

Lord You seem so far away.
A million miles or more it feels today.
And though I haven't lost my faith,
I must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray.

But I don't know what to say and I don't know where to start.
But as You give the grace with all that's in my heart.

I will sing. I will praise
even in my darkest time
through the sorrow and the pain.
I will sing. I will praise.
Lift my hands to honor You
because Your word is true.
I will sing.

Lord it's hard for me to see
all the thoughts and plans You have for me.
But I will put my trust in You.
Knowing that You died to set me free.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUAz6HgNfnM

BUT i put my trust in YOU. despite how had it is for me to see all the thoughts and plans You have for me. God will make a way. He will see us through. =)

The Screwtape Letters... reflections

2008-07-11T00:04:00.000+12:45

airway sensitivity aka "asthma cough" ... *hmm* reading up on it online seems a little scary so shant do so. Prayers that i'll get well soon!! =)

Reflections admist MC today. XP Spent a day in bed and with books. Got so hooked on this book for a long while...Such a thought challenging book! *warning...ignore post if you're brain dead*

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.

This book is about letters from a devil written to his nephew devil to tempt and play with human's mind. (in short)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Screwtape_Letters (read more)

Just thought i would highlight some interesting portion which really show us how the devil attempts to tempt us....

" We want him to be in the maximum uncertainty, so that his mind will be filled with contadictory pictures of the future, every one of which arouses hope or fear. There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human's mind against the Enemy(GOD), He (GOD) wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking aobut what will happen to them."

The devil tempts us to worry, to fear about the future, to live in uncertainty and hopefully doubt GOD's will for us.

"Keep his mind on the inner life. He thinks his conversion is something inside him and his attention is therefore chiefly turned at present to the states of his own mind—or rather to that very expurgated version of them which is all you should allow him to see. Encourage this. Keep his mind off the most elementary duties by directing it to the most advanced and spiritual ones. Aggravate that most useful human characteristic, the horror and neglect of the obvious. You must bring him to a condition in which he can practise self-examination for an hour without discovering any of those facts about himself ,which are perfectly clear to anyone who has over lived in the same house with him or worked the same office."

The devil tempts us to focus so much on ourselves. That we become disillusioned and oblivious to things around us and actions that we potray. He tries to decieve us.

http://members.fortunecity.com/phantom1/books2/c._s._lewis_-_the_screwtape_letters.htm

Only shared 2 portions... above is the site with the letters. =)

05s12 outing

2008-07-07T01:06:00.000+12:45

05S12 ... =) after 2 years...

pics

2008-07-06T03:37:00.000+12:45

My overdued-church camp photos...=)

Alrights.. i know my blog has been stagnant... rights. the pics are coming soon.

Its going to be a new phrase in life.

*anticipation*

whats' exciting

2008-06-19T02:06:00.000+12:45

All rights.. i admit i was just too lazy to update and trying to soak up whats left of my hols.

Alot of pics from church camp. Camp was definitely such a blessing. Thank GOD.

shall update and upload when i've the mood/time =p

now.. what's exciting.

Sat: Love Sem

Sun: MY dearest jie mei aka sister aka YAH TING is finally BACK!!! Its been almost a year!! i'm excited =p

Meet up list

2008-06-06T02:13:00.000+12:45

Let me just re-list my meet up list for the hols with pic

Met to date:

Eugene (at pizza hut)

Fartty fam girls + biao ge...

Fartty Daddy (after coming back from overseas)

RAYS outing (church) - alright not so much meet up since i see them weekly =p

cell group (whats left by that time) =)

Connie

Spent quite some time with this girl today =) its been great meeting up after so long. Remember... stay cheerful and smile... *cheers* to our *lame-cute* girls =p

Su Xian

My dear longest time friend, concluded the best way to choose where to eat is to cut of food places appearing in lot one and bpp =p anyway, cant believe we got cheated by a lady and an old man today. hoho but brought to me so much laughter that i started laughing till i had tears. Its been a joyful day... =) We always pick where we left off. =)

Thats the current to date meet up list!

Its a blessing to catch up with my friends after being lazy for a week =p

Still have a few ppl on my to-meet list this hols..

the list goes on =)

L.O.V.E.

2008-05-31T01:01:00.000+12:45

No.. i didnt jump...

I merely straightened out the circle of thoughts...

to become a line...

Its now a journey.. =)

for GOD.

You dont FALL in love, you LEARN to GROW in LOVE.

SO, here's my opportunity to share this ...

DATE : 21st June 2008. (Saturday)
VENUE : BluJaz Café (Bugis)
TIME: 2.30pm - 5.30pm (Be seated by 2.15pm)
Admission is strictly by ticket only

Tickets price: (ask me) =p
Here is the chance to learn to love and be blessed by this.

This is for everyone (just tag me if ya interested) but esp to

lunch buddies, Fartty fam: I'll definitely invite u personally meanwhile just blk of ur scheduel okaayyy?

Felicia: the whole wkshop just makes me think of you.. so u better be free!

Karmun: no u dont have to bring a boyfriend =p but u can consider bringing 'daddy'

Come and learn and grow in love... =)

...circles...

2008-05-29T00:01:00.001+12:45

Finally met up with Fartty daddy today,he brought me to tour Safti.

LOL. its an interesting tour i guess!!

Very thankful because today value added to my reflections.

Just as i related to him about my thoughts about teaching (once again knowing this is probably not the first time i blabber out) He never fails to give me interesting pondering questions. BUT i think the most classic statement...

"Actually you had already long made your decision."

I just kept silent for while and reflected about all that i had just said. Then, the realisation settled in. He was right. Actually i had already decided, probably just taunted by the insecurities of the uncertain future. =) My career is decided...

I want to teach.

i realised my thoughts travelling in circles.

Circle goes round and round and round and it knows no end...

when you come to the edge of a circle, would you carry on going round even when you know thats no end or would you dare to jump of the edge? I cant describe the feeling in words... but using a circle. When you are at that point and you have to make a decision.. What will you do?

just thankful knowing that if i jump GOD will be there to catch =)

.reflections.

2008-05-28T01:15:00.000+12:45

A smile made everything seems worthwhile.

Teaching

I was reminded, i made my conviction, i relooked at my passion,

i couldnt imagine myself anywhere else except.. making a difference...

This is what i want to do. placing that smiles where they belong...

"like some pastry/chocolate shop.. some cosy shop that can be a chillout/hideout for ppl and make ppl happy! (childcare centre too)" - - but holding Yah Ting responsible for this little dream too =p

One down.. next... =)

walk by faith not by sight

2008-05-27T01:19:00.000+12:45

By Faith Not Sight

Sometimes I'm sad, I know not why
My heart is sore distressed;
It seems the burdens of this world
Have settled on my heart.

And yet I know... I know that God
Who doeth all things right
Will lead me thus to understand
To walk by FAITH...not SIGHT.

And though I may not see the way
He's planned for me to go,
The way seems dark to me just
But oh, I'm sure He knows!

Today He guides my feeble step
Tomorrow's in His right...
He has asked me to never fear...
But walk by FAITH...not SIGHT.

Some day the mists will roll away,
The sun will shine again.
I'll see the beauty in the flowers,
I'll hear the bird's refrain,

And then I'll know my Father's hand
Has led the way to light
Because I placed my hand in His
And walked by FAITH...not SIGHT.

-Ruth A. Morgan

To walk by FAITH and NOT by SIGHT.

Was very enlighten by Sunday's sermon. Within a day GOD showed me i didnt have that much faith that i thought i had.

Shall take the hols to rest and reflect, to grow and to decide, to listen and to obey.

Thankful for all GOD's blessings.

=) thankful for a special long e-mail from faraway land from dearest yah ting...

mmm.. with that mail, i shall ponder about ... my future... =) *thanks*

reality check

2008-05-25T02:10:00.000+12:45

Where God's will flies,
my feet follow in God's speed,
in God's time.

When God's will calls me on,
I dance into His arms,
I tango with my dreams.

If God's will takes,
I let loose my tight grip,
let loose of what I thought I needed.

How God's will carries,
is in strong arms,
is in sure reason,
is in my interest,
and I have let go.

Its that defeaning silence that can really kill.

I seem to be hearing that same silence i heard a year ago.

God, just what are you trying to tell me...

i secretly think He is shaking and testing my patience and faith again

just as a year ago... trying Hearing God's voice and doing His will.

Alrights... here is why..

i got my letter.

when the initial triumph settles, there is that sense of reality check...

...Random pics...

2008-05-22T00:29:00.000+12:45

*complains* This is what happened after school.

Celest: I shall walk down then walk up to go to tution.

Tseruey: Huh? what walk down then walk up.

Celest: I mean i shall walk down then CuT through the park to walk to tution. *serious tone*

Tseruey: *serious tone* did you bring scissors?

Celest: *huh?* why need scissors... what scissors...? *???* *very puzzled*

*lags... one thousand... two thousand.. three thousand*....

celest: TSERUEY!!!!!! *feels like walking far far from her*

LOL. joke of the day.. *scissors* to *CUT through the park*!!!

May i present to you.. the wang wang advertisement.. featuring TSERUEY who *ahem* gave me some lame ending for the day (as above) =p

Anna (with the super act cool look) and Tseruey =p

Erm i was supposed to look disgusted at my unglam nasi lemak.

Power Ranger!!! *brown ranger* =pP haha... Ms SakEeNa...

This is called craziness after a day of work. =)

Metamorphosis

2008-05-19T03:54:00.000+12:45

When your heart is stirred, when your mind is filled, when you soul is disturbed what do you pray out to GOD?

"GOD deliever me." No. pray... "GOD.. transform me"..

No one likes adversities, trials or changes in life, i'm beginning to see them in a new light. Stirring in the heart, mind and soul are GOD's tools to transform us.

Stirring and being really tempted to do something, sometimes just lack of the courage to do so.. Sometimes i secretly think these are random surge of "childish thoughts" needed to be curbed by fixing my eyes on Him and to rely on Him. *i think i'm starting to feel the over reliance again* and always when i do so, i find my ups and downs no longer centred upon something that is fixed. *God, let me fixed my eyes on you and rely upon you*

Something that sermon ended with today...

"We see GOD best in the valley, not on the highest mountain"

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalms 23:4

Now instead, each time there's stirring, i ask GOD

"What are you trying to tell me GOD? How do you want me to change?"

Explore the idea of metamorphosis. telling a catapillar that its going to be a beautiful butterfly one day. how can it comprehend this? Until the day it see the works of transformation at hand. Our all knowing GOD knows how we are going to be like in the future...and He knows that telling us alone would not enable us to comprehend. We just have hear His voice and act in active obedience and nothing is impossible with GOD.

...term 2 wk 9...

2008-05-16T01:49:00.000+12:45

Thank God.. its been a tough week which started of quite rough.

Though many points of blessings by GOD despite the tough times...

Isaiah 41:9-10

You whom i took from the ends of the earth, and from its farthest corners, saying to you "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off.'

Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"

... sometimes you just wished you had Godly parents...

... with Godly counsel...

.. or you're straddled between... the first and the fifth commandment..

Lunch Buddy Supper Outing

2008-05-10T02:53:00.000+12:45

Sailing buddy came back from Taiwan and so we met for short supper after my IDT =)

Time spent together was never failing funny, crappy and totally destressing. hahaha.. Causing severe "tummy muscle exercise" caused by excessive laughing. *ahhhh.. cannot believe it. they can keep me laughing non-stop with all their stories* Anyway we didnt managed to take too many pictures since none brought camera...!! Here goes the presents..

From left, "Sophie, Xiao long bao, Biagra" =p the GIVER's head is cut off.... LOL

hahahha its super crappy because its sweets that looks like pad,xiao long bao and.. "biAgra" ahem u should know whats that anD obviously WHOSE present it is.

Hahahaa.. the cause of stares from the next table and laughing at us.. BUT its only Marshmellows =P haha.. jokes!! i managed to trick my mummy by placing on her bed, then followed by tricking sister and friend =p hahaha.. tsk tsk... Trust SAILING buddy to come up with such a present =.= LOL. Tsk tsk and the last present. LOL!! *tries to compare who got bigger fishballs* ho ho* oh man... comparable =pP hahaha..

In conclusion, it was a fun outing!!! =)
Blessed with crappy friends to relieve stress and unwind the week's busyness.

Met up with Eugene yesterday too (finally after all our failed attempt to meet up due to busy scheduel). =) haha seriously commenting about our always same and stagnant status but nevertheless we are doing fine *Cheers* so jia you! hoho.. as we said, *cheers to no life =pP* haha and i actually looked super old because i was wearing working wear as compared to him wearing this young pink shirt.(was reminded about our Checked attempt to watch the NC-16 movie last year... NC-16!! WE ACTUALLY looKED That young!!) haha..

trip!

2008-05-04T01:15:00.000+12:45

Zoo Trip =)

Group picture... from left: me, jing, NORMAN (what happen =p), ivan

Celest: Ivan, come over from the dark side to the light =p

Jing...*takes out bible* =p

We proved that polars and penguin can meet xP

They proved that.... snakes are funny. =X

*wraps up my dearest Zoo trip =) Thanks to them who gave me my belated belated belated belated birthday present =) it was such a cuteee gift *thanks*

Nice time catching up too

Thank you!!!

tsk tsk

2008-04-27T22:57:00.000+12:45

Hoho.. Randomly realised some funny stupid pictures in my SD card. *remembers more in my hard disk but shall only look when its HOLS before i cant stop laughing*

LOL. i remember it was taken to made the PROCO introduction powerpoint slides for either council or school. *tsk tsk* Cant seem to find my fellow proco partner's one!! =) *think its in my hard disk*

Lol. yes and to the i rank most classic lunch buddy picture because we got 100% good acting skill with an empty plate... =) hoho...

to the sailing buddy... sail sail sail where already... reach taiwan sailing back ler rights...

to the studying buddy.. mug harder la. shall only meet u after your exams =p

to the slackest siR buddy... SIR! driving test coming rights! Forgot you first or me first. hoho.. so who's going to drive who for driving test?

Reflections

2008-04-27T00:11:00.000+12:45

It has been a blessed day today. An opportunity to understand the word "divine appointment". Thank GOD.

Prayer walk today was just Joanna and I as i couldnt make it in the morning. Although we were just down to two person as compared to others who had their groups, i was thankful that before we started our prayer walk, we prayed for open doors and divine appointments. The first few households we knocked, i hesistated asking the question "Can we pray for you?" because the lack of courage in the face of other religions. After a few houses we finally got the hang of it and pluck up the courage to do so. It was a divine appointment to choose to do level 2 (just when we realised the blk we did was already covered and we planned to leave). After doing the introductions and giving out the magnets and asking about prayer requests... she shared a little about how she was being bothered by black magic. We prayed for her and carried on. Although after we finally ended our prayer walk and sat below the block, both of us just felt this burden to go back to that household. Somehow we both felt that we could had done something more. It was the same feeling and thus both of us returned to the household.

I thank God that we made that decision as she cried sharing with us furthur about her current situation. It was someone i recognise who was desperate and crying out for Him. She backslid or probably was never strong in her faith but i'm glad she said she recognise the need to fall back and lean upon Christ. *praise GOD* Angels rejoice as she reconcillate with GOD.

This was definitely the highlight of my prayer walk but several other reflections made me realised what a hard ground woodlands was. It was a town made up of mostly non-christians. While doing my prayer walk, i had a picture of how GOD's revival would be like in this town. As i look at our soon-to-be completed church building, i just thought... how we were really bring GOD to the residents in Woodlands. Revival would be seen in that town. Praise GOD.

On the other hand, Anna reminded me something while we were in school. She was sharing about how children and their childlike faith accept things easily. She was telling me about how she was sharing with these kids. That although now they may not fully understand what it is to accept Christ, but these kids would not reject Christ as much when they are in their teens because somewhere deep inside they have heard the gospel. \She reminded me that she was sowing this seed in the hearts of those children. Ryan mentioned during prayer walk that he reached out mostly to children as he managed to talk to quite a few. I was reminded to carry on sowing seeds in them.

Its been a blessed Saturday of reflecting.

Thank God for allowing me to grow in Him.

...Blessed...

2008-04-22T02:08:00.000+12:45

...Happy Birthday....

birthday celebrations pictures =)

Dad and Mum =)

Me, Mum, Dad

Japanese Food =)

once again........Cool sister versus act cute sister =p

Family Picture =)

Thanksgiving to GOD.
I recognised how blessed i am to have such a loving family. To be able to grow in this house of love showered by them. Glory goes to GOD who showers His grace upon this family. Grace despite how unworthy we are to receive that grace.

Blessing to worship

2008-04-20T19:27:00.000+12:45

Its a blessing to be able to worship. To lift your voice and praise God... To hear the people of GOD lifting their voices together to praise Him. I'm saying this in thanksgiving of such small things that we may never notice when we're well. I realised not being able to sing or hear properly over the past week because of my flu was quite a torture. Music seems to be something that *ticks* my emotions. Being only able to hear and not sing over the past week allowed me to appreciate worship in a different way... to slow down and hear praises lifted up to Him. Just imagine how beautiful heaven would be like with people of God worshiping Him with our voices.

God, its a blessing to be able to worship you. God, its a blessing to be able to sing..

Thank God for this blessing.

Thank GOD for His healing...

trust

2008-04-15T23:50:00.000+12:45

Randomly trying to explore the word "trust"

1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

2. Custody; care

3. Something committed into the care of another; charge.

4. One in which confidence is placed.

5. Reliance on something in the future; hope.

*was bout to tag longer.. but the internet is being really slow on me now*

heh.. contemplate the meaning of placing your trust on Him as compared to things that are uncertain.

Hmm.. yup. wait till i've the time to elaborate =)

Psalm 71:1, 5-6

In you, O Lord, I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
For you, O Lord, are my hope,
my trust O Lord, from my youth.
Upon you I have leaned from my birth;
it was you who took me from my mother's womb.
My praise is continualty of you.

*Praying that i will get well soon...*

Term 2 Week 5

2008-04-14T00:52:00.000+12:45

Only God sustain. The week before was just tiring because of me being sick. Being sick isnt fun and hinders concentration but God showed me only He can sustain me. Shall carry on praying for healing. To several others who are also sick too, press on in Him. Lean upon GOD and let Him heal.

"And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

"But Jesus on hearing this answered him, “Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well.”

Both talks about having faith to believe...

Have faith that GOD in His own time and own way would heal. =)

So... despite the uncomfortable block nose, block ears, cough or whatever may come my way, Nevertheless nevertheless GOD is with me.

Pss

2008-04-09T00:30:00.000+12:45

Courtesy of Buddy Lee who was less than 24 hours away from sailing away for a mth.

He was suffering from PSS when he drew all these =p

PSS - Pre Sailing Syndrome

heh.. You're kept in prayers.

busyness rising..

one thing that put a big smile BIG smile on my face... =)

i finally recieve a postcard from YAH TING =D *big smile*

Starwatcher - Ed Huckeby

2008-04-07T23:35:00.000+12:45

Tomorrow is THE DAY for them. Somehow feeling quite excited. Its the day that make the past 8 months worth. =) its Band's SYF tomorrow. Wondering what will the results be.. Dont they think about how muCH hard work was put in all for today? Music is such an amazing thing. Every single beat, rhythm is just so important. Each and every single instrument plays such an important role. Just one extra sound, just one too loud or too soft at this major moment would make a world of difference. I pray that the music would flow and every single note played on time. =) Subconsciously i have the band song stuck in my head after listening to them practise over the past SO many months. I really pray hard for a good result tomorrow. I pray that they get what they deserve.

*In my prayers*

Starwatcher - Ed Huckeby

Sunset by the lakeside - Mitsuo Nonami

Tomorrow is the day.

Weekends

2008-04-07T01:22:00.000+12:45

SUNDAY! Usually i have Sunday blues but i seem to learn how to counter it =) So today i shall start talking about Sunday first. Woke up, church then lunch then restock my food then back home. =) Was pretty encouraged by the sermon today. It was a reminder to invest in people's life. No doubt i did understand the meaning of "making a difference" in people's life but today sermon gave me a new insight. Discipleship is something GOD centred. We hear GOD to lead us to the person to invest in.. using our heart to do so. =) Anyway it was a reminder to be this light and invest time and effort with GOD's leading into the children's life that i teach. =) Investing in people's life. thats another reason why teach =)

Told myself to have the discipline to go home early today after lunch! knowing that i had quite alot to settle. =\ Preparations.. I'm beginning to enjoy the serenity of Sunday. Being stress up making preparations for the week ahead but slowing down and stop to take time of enjoying music or exercise. Planned until i felt restless and decided to take a break. It was between "banging" my piano or going for my long postpone run. =) I chose to run today =) i think it felt very very good =) I miss the feeling of running! Running can relieve stress too!

Oh wells.. came back and back to planning... *reminder* to run moreee~

Saturday..

Managed to meet up with Chun, edi and Yan Liang (though wasnt really supposed to meet him but was fun to catch up) OKkayy going out with chun and edi is the usually routine of waiting for someonE *cough* to be HALF and HOUR late *cough* then finallyy he came lol. yes.. and the usualy routine of getting bullied by them! We chatted a while, as usally make me laugh non-stop with the rubbish... caught a suPER late movie before heading home. =) They who suggested walking hm from lot one.. =p while i was super tired and refused to do so. Oh wells. its been long since we met up like that again and my uber irritating di says see me 7mths timee haha after he ORD! *thanks ahh* =)

Anyway it was fun!

Thats the weekend...

"like that lor" week =)

2008-04-05T03:37:00.000+13:45

Here goes my update for the "like that" week! =)

Its been a pretty normal week... =) A week rejoicing in GOD because He sustained me through the day where i had pains. I think i was quite empowered during DG today. I think GOD just reminded me alot through the sharings of my dg mates.
From one of my DG member...

12Whoever^(A) belittles his neighbor lacks sense,
but a man of understanding remains silent. Proverbs 11:12

I was reminded when to hold my tongue and that its just something that lack sense doing so. I was reminded of when to keep silent.

From another of my DG who was just sharing her experience.. i think it just reminded me of myself. =) Nevertheless i think the sharing was so frank that it bonded us closer together as a DG. So i really thank GOD for that.

On the other hand, one thanksgiving i have for the week is GOD leading me to pick up the phone to call my missing di. haha yes the one i struggled whether to call or not for the past two months thinking that he has officially disappeared yet worried that i call and realise that he was just plain "bo chup" =p. haha. conclusion: HE IS FOUND! haha.. yes.. actually come to realise that it was "my fault" to forget that he was going overseas for a few weeks. I was glad that GOD led me to call and encourage this "bo chup" bro of mine. It was kind of a "burden" lifted from me =)

Anyways, on one hand GOD reminded me to exercise His wisdom in things and issues. Pick my battle on things that are worth and not to choose the wrong battle. I choose to opt out of this battle but meanwhile reminded to love unconditionally.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Cor 13: 5 - 7

Term 2 Week 3

2008-04-02T01:52:00.000+13:45

Lunch Buddy Outing !! *finally*

heh.. yes. its our long awaited outing soon...

Before one dearest buddy sails away! =)

I think kind of need to meet up fartttyy fam soon too.. !!

Ohhh and by the way i think i have to declare edi di to be officially lost! Thats a little worrying.. After failures to contact by phone,sms, email, online for about near 2 months. haha yess its getting a little worrying...

Anyways .. here is a beautiful poem =)

The strength to resist the night
The strength to endure the day
The strength to keep righteous paths in sight
The strength to take them without delay

The strength to find a purpose in life
The strength to find the truths it brings
The strength to kick away from strife
The strength to stabalize the rock it clings

The strength to light a friend’s day up
The strength to resist wrathful foes
The strength to fill a stranger’s dry cup
The strength to shun sin when it opposed

The strength to feel an injured man’s pain
The strength to hold a reject’s hand
The strength to act against any gain
The strength to love without demand

The strength to understand that our King
Has blessed us with more than we can contain
Therefore regardless what time may bring
The strength will continue to reign

midweek~

2008-03-27T01:14:00.000+13:45

Mystery of the day.......

It was in my in tray!! Hmm so strange. NO one could tell me who placed it there... *tsk tsK*.. but it was quite a cute motivation. Hmmm... Who can solve this mystery..=p

Anyway... MIDWEEK!!! GOD sustain me, please...!

Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness” (Colossians 1:11)

GOD trains patience... =) Its a reminder to myself.

Blessed Easter

2008-03-23T21:47:00.000+13:45

=) Its Easter Sunday! =)

Sermon was good i felt... Thank God for showing me His faithfulness.

Because i know at the very least, a seed was sown in their hearts.

Its Easter Sunday.. Easter - all the reason to rejoice... Sunday - all the reason to be sian...

Was reading this book (or should i say re-flipping).. The book "boy meets girl" by Joshua Harris. Haha.. its kind of like the second time i'm looking through the book. Thought it was a good book to ask Fel to read so i borrowed it from the library when i saw it but i guess flipping through reminded me...

Some food for thoughts..

The word "wisdom" appeared in one for the chapter repeatedly. Indeed such issues really requires us to have "wisdom". =) God's wisdom for him to guide us thru...

"romance is the kite that catches the wind and tenaciously heads for the sky; wisdom is the string that tugs downward, holding it back."

Its Easter Sunday!!

Because He lives, i can face tomorrow..

Because He lives, all fear is gone...

Because i Know He holds the future...

and

Life is worth the living Just Because He lives... =)

God's work.

2008-03-23T03:07:00.000+13:45

This is the second time in a week God made me awe at His wonder. *warning* ahead... is RANTs that are vague. Today GOD made me think about what exactly He wanted to do. I think the flow of today was just wierd. During CG i felt the confirmation that i was indeed doing what GOD needs me to complete. I was really so sure. But all that happened after just totally made me wonder...God really is very very interesting..

There is 24 hours per day...

Many many places available...

Many many different times/month possible..

BUT GOD just has to make it today.. the day before easter... I can go on and on about what a wierd meeting God created.. and i kept asking myself why such a random meet. I think this was what i thought of the meeting... God rather me have this chance meeting today then having a disturbed distracted Easter Sunday. I think coming up with the decision to settle this and to close this with an invitation was really after a series of prompt from God. Actually i'm thankful that its a distracted Saturday and focused Easter Sunday. I havent fully understood what God wants me to do. Recognised i should surrender and He would reveal.

I'm irritated. Because this is the very reason why i ceased settling things at first. but today it came back to irritate me. hate it hate it hate it... i'm tired of giving you answers..it makes me want to just dump it at the back of my mind and not step out of my comfort zone like what i would always do. God.. maybe it wasnt a good idea after all? But then again, i'm glad i did. Because i learnt to surrender my thoughts, words and actions to Him. I guess God didnt prepare the heart. As long the invitation was laid out..No matter what the outcome was. Praise God.

only God heals. I said that alot of times...

NEVERTHELESS

Thank God. I spent a day out with my cell =) erm or should i say brotherS.

I'm sure tomorrow will be a great easter sunday.
Because He lives.

Thankful week

2008-03-21T02:44:00.000+13:45

The week passed much faster this week. I seem to know why but i shant say why. =)
I guess maybe because its 4 days work week too! =)
Ohhh its Friday... BLESSED FRIDAY coming.

haha.. anyway i actually went for Thursday service =X ermmm long funny story there... =) ANYWAY just got reminded of this video....

Its Friday.. but SUNDAY's COMING!!! =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX3rgU2f3J0

Such a powerful and appropriate video for this friday... =)

SundAe... oOops Sunday

2008-03-17T00:20:00.000+13:45

I wouldnt say i'm very excited that this week had ended but nevertheless its an exciting term ahead i think. God.. its another 10 weeks ahead.. May it be a blessed term.

I have never felt so clear about something that God speaks and today during service i was actually so sure what God wanted me to do. haha.. i think its just such a... mm.. clear sign. I remembered that 16th March was also supposed to be very near something.. so when i was home i immediately started checking the dates (since i forgot) and guess what!! i'm still early. =) I'm still thankful that God pointed that loose ends i didnt tie up and after today's sermon i was SO sure what i just had to do. I guess the coming easter service may also be a good opportunity. =) No doubt by logic it is quite a crazy thing to do.. but i'm going to take the leap of faith and follow what God wants me to do. I suddenly remembered what fartty daddy asked me.. about forgiving... =) NOW i have an answer and its not just lip service. I'M going to put it into action. GOD please prepare the heart, pave the way and restoration =)

Anyway, Met up Mei Yi, Sam, Ser Xing, Yin Hou for dinner at BPP. Celebrating Meiyi's birthday and also i guess catch up before Yin Hou flies off at the end of the month... =)

One Week Holidays =)

2008-03-16T02:18:00.000+13:45

Such a well spend one week.. =)

The start of the was pretty busy at school but was glad to be able to catch "The Leap Years" with Soon Leng and also "August Rust" with my colleagues! yesh.. with the whole zhps staff. =)

The late week was a great time of catch up. Shopping.. meeting up with Janie..Met with Xian, went out with some ppl from cell... going fartty daddy's POP! =)

Met up with Janie.. =) dearest sister.. one of the few that i had grown much much closer so was definitely glad to meet her. Someone to relate to spiritually i guess. =)

Meeting Xian... SO missed her. i think the last time i saw her was last sem. Hehe i thank God we;re the kind of friends who can pick where we left off. SO we just spent our times updating that one sem of my life and hers. =) One thing she reminded me was about how unique a delete button we had in us. haha both of us seem to have that ability to forget easily. Hmm.. for good or for bad. evaluate yourself. I guess..we're still young... take our time =)

Friday...

Went out with Fel, Nic, Kest. haha abit a "wierd" combi but okay.. went to Minds cafe played funny dumb games.. then went to the movies and watch scary movie.haha ermm.. conclusion.. eating lollipops when watching scary movie is a brilliant idea. LOL. actually i think fel did a better job blogging this... so... www.fel-feli-felicia.blogspot.com =) explains the day with pics and stuff..

Sat..

Had cell group at my place. Thank God for allowing Fel to have the opportunity to come along. He works in His own way.. may God shower His love on her pains =)

Went to attend Pass out parade of.....*drumrolls*

ZAVIER .... (sec school friend)

YU LUN.... (6th Council) =)

Oh well.actually we went to support.....*Drum rolls* DEAR FARTTY DADDY SOON LENG

Dearest fartty daddy.. the 10 months hadnt been easy but definitely you got through =) With encouragements from us rights.. you're one step closer to your pink IC =) CONGRATULATIONS!!! Presenting.. OFFICER TOH SOON LENG ... come on be proud of it... SWORD OF MERIT!!! =) Time to accept changes in life... life is about changes. Definitely and always kept in prayerssss =) jia you! next phrase again.

Hahaha. =) sO proud of my gift for him and i made him pose with it... YESH! its a pack of guava.. =P what.. its a meaningful thoughtful pack of guava.. =P hahaha just that.. erm.. holding it in the middle of the parade square like that.. =pP

Went out dinner with them =) haha.. usually i'm quite a good person in faking stuff. but i was just so surprised that today they could see through today.. LOLX. so instead of hiding such stuff i just decided to share to esp such close friends ma hUh. haha usually.. usUally i'll be a good "faker"..somehow.. why it didnt pull through today.. *thinks* anyway.. thats what friends are for =p the closer ones always can read through us. =) 3 cheers to them!!! with love.... =)

...the Lord will bless his people with peace..

2008-03-09T01:04:00.000+13:45

Hmm i am trying to stifle my reluctance about tomorrow. At times like that i wished i had Yah Ting to go with me.. *oops* my reliance is at work again. Like how many times i remind myself not to rights. =) i guess i just feel very unmotivated to attend the whole thing. starting from 8 am. what a thought. Anyway, Hope that girl is still doing fine overseas.

Oh yes its March Holidays. =) My scheduel for the week is quite filled. =)

Thankful to be able to catch up with Su Xian.
(which i marked my calendar already)

The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace.
Psalm 29:11

Peace.peace.peace. peace be unto me.. admist the struggle..

=)

2008-03-05T23:27:00.000+13:45

Had an interesting discovery today.. =) Was having lunch with my colleagues and some relief teachers..One was my colleague's sis (Pauline) and the other a relief teacher. The relief teacher look super familiar, was bout to conclude that she was from Pioneer until Pauline said she was from her JC. Haha yEs. SO the conclusion is both are from PJC.. Relief was a my batch pioneer from 05s06! haha..the funniest thing was.. suddenly Pauline was a junior and she vaguely remembers me from S.C. haha through orientation i guess.. i went "Walla" and she went "Elkins" with the big CROCODILE HAndsign LOLx mummy your clan..!

Suddenly a teacher walked past and tried to recall all our names.. and she mentioned "Celest". then the relief teacher frm pioneer went 'you're celest?' and i went "nono, I am Celestine"...

relief teacher: now it sounds familiar... Celestine from 6th students' council..

haha i know why...

me: Good morning school. I am Celestine from the 6th students Council. There is 1 announcement today.. announcement 1....

pauline: oh oh oh i recognise that voice...

Hahahaha.. i thought it was super funny... =.= i get recognise for doing morning announcement. ermm.... how can she remember my voice of doing the announcement!!! its just sooooOo dumb..Anyway hoho.. turns out she knows sO many ppl from my batch.. so we just started chatting away.. =)

*ohh i kind of miss doing announcements.. its just so crappy.. especiall when you go up there and just say.....

Good morning school, I am Celestine from the 6th Students Council.. There are NO announcements for today =.= (like whats the point right) LOL.

term 1 wk 10 mid wk.

2008-03-05T00:31:00.000+13:45

I seem to have alot more to clear b4 term ends...trying to make a list.. but it seems to be really long.. i cant even remember what i have to put on that list. Wednesday tomorrow.. but worrying because i have lots to clear. =\ Nevertheless

heh.. and...

The chocolate on my table seems super pretty and seem to be staring at me..

Happy birthday Soon Leng fartty dad

Happy belated one Meiyi =)

Term 1 Wk 9... to.. Term 1 Wk 10!!!!!

2008-03-03T00:54:00.000+13:45

=) Term 1 week 10! =)

THANKSgiving to God that i had completed one term. =D

Happy birthday to Wei Quin cutiee... =) PenguIn!! join the 20 club already.. =p

Wells. Had some early birthday celebration for soon leng. haha.. i think i had exercised maximum acting skills.. Hey but i wasnt kidding when i said i really needed to go shopping. LOL. i think it was a good surprise and hang out session where (after a long story) i bluffed him to where the rest were at along clark quay the Jumbo restaurant since he LOVE to eat seafood. =) We all sat along the river side so it was very cooling and such a good weather to just hang out =) After (some very indecisive decision from-to-be-20-guy) we walked ard clark quay not deciding where to go after dinner. haha until i randomly saw Hooters and suggested. Hahaha its an interesting place =X with what the guys called "alot of obasang" there. hahaha... =) chilled and we gave him bananas as presents =pP...

Thats bout it for the celebration i guess! =)

Term 1 Week 9 unknowingly thought me alot of things... it was such a week that God strengthened and showed me quite a bit... I come to realise where God was leading me and what He was working on deep in me =)

Today's CG lunch was kinda funny =X i guess.. haha.. but i had a take away from lunch.. it was what Mark said about relying. Lets make sure we put God first and rely on Him first.. everything would be added unto... =D

Term 1 Week 10 ........ =)

upcoming...

2008-02-28T23:49:00.000+13:45

Made a sudden realisation about my month.. I've almost forgot about some important dates coming..

15th March - Fartty Dad's POP... (Yes *booked* *blocked* *chop* on my calendar already. Would not miss it since its your BIG day...)

28th March - Yin Hou's leaving.. (made a sudden realisation that it seems so fast.. i didnt realised he was leaving so soon. Hmm...Its been one month since my birthday and exactly one month to him leaving for a LOng long time..=X Ser Xing.. do something)

Lastly... to my juniors esp the 7th council... Tomorrow will be a great day.. dont worry about what you see on that paper... they're just paper. *though i know its really scary* =X

Weekends

2008-02-24T01:43:00.000+13:45

Friday:

Met a bro of mine for lunch before school.. oh yes. bro who is HapPily far far far away in Taiwan.. LOl. =) Then had school as usual. Today is a Friday without IDT!! So i excitedly tried to ask a few of my friends (knowing i couldnt call Karmun or Felicia since they had test the next day) Haha everyone was busy buT SO thankful that Farrttty Dad soon leng is out of camp!!! =D Managed to go to town after school to have dinner & SHOPPING (for Su Xian's present). Haha.. Although i got tricked to have dinner with him just staring at me eat!! Oh.. so excited since i havent been able to come to town or shop for a long lonG while. Although after dinner most places was closed!! Only had Cine to shop from =) I was satisfied with my shopping! Hoho. Cheers to Soon Leng who was willing to hold my book on hand since my bag was heavy. LOL, imagine holding a book walking ard town =X *cheers*

Three new things he learnt from our outing.

1) New pick up line... ;) its an interesting riddle. =P haha answers with ME.

2) How to walk to Maysprings from bus stop =P

*ermm i spare the agony of sharing hoW you walked huh*

3) how to pronounce zzzzzzz

Thankful that you could make it despite it being so last min! Press on to POP!

Saturday

Day of prayer & Su Xian's birthday party. =) Made the decision to join my dg for lunch today. Hmmm =) Day of prayer was alrights i guess. I really enjoyed the worship songs today =) Left for Xian's surprise birthday party. =) Super funny when we accidentaly met her at cck control b4 we could reach her hse first and while the guys couldnt really fake it off that we met for other various reasons.. i think i had to bluff non-stop =X Haha... I think i was glad to be able to meet this bunch of sec school friends. LOL once again Chun can make me laugh non-stop with his crap. *cheers*... It was hanging out just like the old days just chatting and attempting to update our personal life. LOl *ATTEMPT* is the word. =)
Just suddenly make me thought of "di". Hmm =p a bit a bit disappointed at him at the momment. but towards you.. the word is "xi guan jiu hao". =P

Thanks Min, Hui, Heng, Hao, Hong, Chun... for the day. (whoo attendance havent been so near perfect before)

Thanks Wan Mei for organising. =) and the rest.

TGIF... =) Thank God its Friday.

2008-02-22T01:22:00.000+13:45

Thank God is Friday. I think, its been a tired wk.

http://fel-feli-felicia.blogspot.com/

Anyway, just thought i'll return post for Fel.. after the effort she took to take time off from study to post. I guess i was really encouraged by her and her post on cny cg outreach. No doubt God led me to bring her to CG cny outreach for reasons that He works. If you asked me a week ago, i definitely did not expect so much to come out of just an invitation.
No doubt the questions stimulated many of our thoughts... i'm really thankful that i managed to share with her my beliefs and just about life...

As i think back and remember how we started off and lasted as friends for so long, i only can laugh and laugh.. i think we started having clashing attitudes with me having the gifted ability of ignoring you when you're angry =P. Its been a long journey and yup. As what i shared with teck ming when he asked me "why ask him along?". I guess the same applies. Just want to share the good things with my closest friends.. the ones that matters. =D

The ones that i want to meet back in heaven and carry on in fellowship...

Biao jiex. =) Study hard anyway... March.. come again..

Karmun.. u study too.. its exams in 1 day time k!

Soon leng... come on. get out of your comfort zone, knowing you will be blessed and supported by all of us. =) i'm proud you got it anyway. POP!!!

Su Xian... HAPPY 20th Birthday.. with loves.. miss...ya. Its the near thirteenth birthday i "celebrated" with you!! MY GOODNESS... i think its the longest friendship ever...

Every move i make..

2008-02-18T23:34:00.000+13:45

I suddenly realised i forgot something this Valentine Day, i must had been really busy that i actually forgot about it! Usually i would take some time off to remember.. yeah.. its supposed to be near Ming Xuan's birthday... Hmm.. do they celebrate birthdays up there?

Was walking home from tution today...happily bouncing to my ipod music

"Every move i make i make in You...You make me move Jesus... Every Step i take i take in You..." ...... =) *bounce bounce*...

"In thee, O Lord, do i put my trust: let me never be put to confusion" Psa 71:1

While walking home today i had a sudden urge to do something.. =) I saw joggers running... I so miss running alot... I kind of like that mental strain.. reminding myself that its mind over matters.. i miss singing and running, i miss irritating my classmates while running =P (can imagine Felicia's look of "i am too noisy") okays.. i think i should find some time to run.. =D

Thanksgiving to God.

2008-02-17T20:40:00.000+13:45

Thanksgiving to God because He is in control. =) Thanksgiving to Him for such a wonderful CNY outreach He had planned.. Indeed i had alot of fun and i felt His presence during the event. I just hope He carry on His work in all of us. It was just a really informal games, steamboat and discussion sessions. Great friendship was strengthened and new friendships were formed. I really Thank God for bringing three of my friends to the party and just have a great time too. No doubt i was truly VERY tired by the end of the day but it was definitely well spent.

Just a food for thought from this party...

Is life just about meeting goals? Various goals that we set yearly... so ultimately what have we achieved? At this very last moment and last breath in your life... what will you be thinking about...? The no. of goals you've met? The amt of money in your bank? How high you've climbed up the corprate ladder? How well you've done in O's or A's or Uni? Ultimately, what are all these for?

haha.. i just had to add this..its a scary thought but...yes life like that seems so worthless.

http://www.dashhouse.com/sermons/1997/AM/970413.htm

Just read the book of Ecclesiastes in the bible... and count the no of times life is described as just "vanity"... =)

YUP! Although i think i spent the past few weeks thinking about this that during cg party i no longer was really thinking about these questions. haha. i think i was much much much more distracted by Janie's question. hmm. i'm someone who avoids thinking of such things. So i guess i really didnt have answer for you. mmm... ya. i guess u reminded me to think. hmm.. lol.i got a pretty hardened mind =p trust God so..let GOD lead my thoughts =D

Thank you God.

life apart from God is utterly meaningless

Happy Valentine Day

2008-02-14T01:40:00.000+13:45

Happy Valentine Day

Oh yes.. i feel so "artistic". =D Results of an art workshop at school... =) Its always a fun day and i'm sure it would be again... =D

...God's child....

Fustruations only GOD understands.

exams =p

a lousy way to end youth sunday (read with a pinch of salt)

God is good

God is love

That's what friends are for

Distinction in God's eyes

Practicum =)

The Promise

.reality.

Dedicated to Ming Xuan (05 Jan 03) =)

2010

Thanksgiving Post

....In memories....

God is our Healer

God is our Healer

Jesus take the Wheel (not the steering wheel)

The Next Generation

...

To tell him that YOU love him

(oh oh oh oh..... oh oh oh OH) =p

I Stand in Awe of You

Will Jesus Find us Watching?

GOD's love

Friends.....

Divine Exchange (blog song)

Count your blessings

Fustruration

7 random things i struggle

Run to God

Lead me Lord

...celebrations..

First day of School =)

Hols

Hols

Jesus shall take the highest Honour

pics at zhenghua

sense of satisfaction

prayer requests

When the tears fall we are never alone

blessings in stress

Surrender

lines

Recess week in pics

...dedicated to my friends...

...back for while...

Teaching

..prayer..

...vainity...

Aphorism

- Week 1 -

Thanks be to GOD

run,,, to keep in pace... with changes...

House made of love.

God will make a way

Happy Lunch buddy Birthday!

...nonsensical...

I will sing....

The Screwtape Letters... *reflections*

05s12 outing

pics

whats' exciting

Meet up list

L.O.V.E.

...circles...

.reflections.

walk by faith not by sight

*reality check*

...Random pics...

Metamorphosis

...term 2 wk 9...

Lunch Buddy Supper Outing

trip!

*tsk tsk*

Reflections

...Blessed...

Blessing to worship

trust

Term 2 Week 5

The Screwtape Letters... reflections

reality check

tsk tsk